Naruto: poisonous luminous lighting
by Tremor230
Summary: A dark! naruto with the power of three Devil fruits,He will finally take from the village what is rightfully his! beware Konoha! the new Akuma no Shinobi is there to Kick your ass! not a great summary but the story should be good Naru/Ten/femHaku/Anko. experiment born from a boring day at my home, let's see if you like it
1. Chapter 1

**I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED! I'M BORED!**

…**..So I decided to write this, It won't have a normal update rate, it will depend on my boredom so please have patience if you actually like it ^^.**

**A little experiment? ^ ^ ( after _the many who were one _this is getting my lucky phrase), by the way here we have a Naruto gaining the power of three devil's fruit, the difficult part is trying to have a different start from the other stories, that's difficult because the ones already present cover A HUGE VARIETY of possible starts...since I haven't read ALL of them, I hope the one I give is somehow original, if not I say right away that I am sorry if it sound repetitive.**

**Okay, let's try!**

**Pairing : Naru/Ten/femHaku/Anko**

**Settings: Dark!Naruto - Good!Danzo – Powerful!Naruto – Bashing here and there – Few OOC moments if I need them...and for the first time here with me Pervy!Konoha. They will be explained at the end.**

**If others are used I will add them to the list.**

**Fruits used:**

**Naruto:**

**Doku Doku no mi : venom venom fruit (Last User-Magellan)**

**Pika Pika no mi : light light fruit (L.U-Kizaru)**

**Goro Goro no mi : Rumble rumble fruit (L.U-Enel)**

**Others:**

**Buki-buki no mi: arms-arms fruit ( L.U baby 5) ( given to Tenten) with the variation of being **

**Buki-Buki no mi, model ****Ekitai kinzoku**** ( model liquid metal)**

**Gura Gura no mi : tremor tremor fruit (L.U-whitebeard) given to Haku**

**Hebi Hebi no mi model cobra : given to Anko**

**Naruto ( I said it right now) will have his own techniques (after all he has not the old users to learn from) but I may use some of the manga ones with another name or similar to them in concept ( after all he is a different person than Magellan, Enel or Kizaru, and too much stories had him acting like a rip off, I'm trying to be original here ^ ^)**

**LET'S MOVE!**

" **You bastard"** - demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or One Piece, but I would like to "own" Robin for just a night...don't look at me like that, I know you too wished that.**

**Chapter 1: the new Akuma no shinobi**

**Chunin exam- forest of death**

Fighting to survive in the forest of the death, aka training ground 44? really difficult, having his head to nearly broke against a tree due to an impressive gust of wind? It was really troublesome, but finding those two idiots of his team-mates surrender to a freak with an exaggeratedly long tongue was too-fucking-much!

He arrived just in time to stop the idiot Uchiha from handing over their scroll a Grass Nin, how he did stop him? With an old school kick to the face of the raven-haired boy.

The team, putting aside the arguing and yelling until they reach the tower, then started the always mandatory _fight-with-explanation-of-whatever-is-happening-in-said-fight _with the Grass Nin, man that had Naruto forced to use the Kyuubi's chakra to help him fight an humongous snake summoned just for him...oh joy!.

Just for your information, while the blond was fighting with tooth and nail, the so called "Uchiha Prodigy" had peed himself several times, and I mean literally, he will have to throw away his pants after the exam.

"That power you have inside and that you seem to fully control, an impressive thing I have to say, in addiction to the rage you are showing may be an obstacle to my plans, however, since I respect your guts to try fighting a losing battle I'll be merciful and just turn _that _off, please forgive me" said the Grass Nin holding Naruto by his throat, before hitting the demon vessel in the stomach with his five fingers coated in chakra

"**Five Pronged Seal!**" he said, before he threw the boy into a tree.

Trying for once in her miserable, pathetic life ( **A/N if you are a fan of her sorry, she will be bashed, I didn't hate her by the way...not after shippuden at least ^ ^**) to being useful for something more than pestering Sasuke for a date, Sakura threw a kunai at Naruto, incredibly catching him on the tree he hit... before the leg of his orange pants decide to give in to the gravity and tearing making him fall below.

Something unknown to neither the two idiots or the revealed Orochimaru the Sannin, that now was sucking on Sasuke's neck...EEEWWW! Was what happened AFTER the fall.

The boy reached the forest floor in a...SPLURT? Turning in a purple mass that stood quietly at the base of a tree, tree that by now was having an agonizing death as said purple stuff was apparently poisonous.

**Naruto's mind-scape. (yes, Ye olde dark sewer)**

Waking up in the usual meeting point with his tenant, Naruto found out that over the same old bars of the Fox cage there was a purple barrier, with a second seal positioned over the old one.

"Are you okay, Kurama?" he asked

"**Yeah, the idiot may be a good fighter, but this seal sucks, by the way is still keeping me away from you..we have to **_**show off**_** before the schedule if you want to survive**" said the fox

"All right then, do you think they will work the same?" asked Naruto

"**Yes, there is no chakra behind their power so I should be able to let it slide out, the fact that you survived the fall is a good enough proof**" said Kurama letting six of his tails pass through the barrier and the bars.

Two of them were yellow with sparks circling around them at random intervals.

Two were purple and were dripping an equally purple goo that made the floor sizzling whenever a drop fall down.

The last two were white, emanating a feeble light, all the six of them were now grabbing the various pipes around the room, sending energy to the body and making Naruto wake up.

"**After this exams, ask the old monkey if he knew some seal master, I don't want you to get ****killed since our death is not something I want**" were the last words of the Kyuubi before the link was closed.

In the real world the purple mass start reassembling, showing a perfectly healthy blond boy now smirking at the sensation of freedom only those fruit could give him.

"By now the grass-nin should be gone...yeah I can't feel his presence anymore and surprisingly those two are alive as well, good, losing this part because of them could have been a pain in the ass" said Naruto before being surrounded by a group of Kumo shinobi.

"What a luck, it seem that this little boy is here alone, give us your scroll and MAYBE we will let you live" said one of the male of the group.

"I think that it's me the lucky one, I have just the same height of your teammate...and I need some new clothes that doesn't scream _Kill me_...do you mind if I take them?" asked Naruto showing a simple, sweet smile.

"What?...whatever, let's kill him and take the scroll" said the head of the group reaching for his weapon

"You wanna fight? Okay, it's your funeral after all..**Doku-Doku no: Kitsune! **(venomous fox)" immediately Naruto's body turned dark-purple turning the grass around him in a sick grey, at the same time a towering fox head made of that same matter covering the boy's body made his appearance growling at the group.

"I-Is that poison? A-a-all of it?" asked the girl of the group

"Exactly milady, I'm a poison-man...above other things, can I have that guy clothes now?" asked sweetly Naruto as another fox head came out from his body.

(Think about Magellan Hydra..only with foxes, told you: similar with some changing)

"Undress, UNDRESS!" yelled the captain of the trio

"I-I'm trying, but my pants are stuck!" the poor guy was crying while trying to take off his clothes before the other male jumped on him and nearly tearing the garments off.

"Take them...but please let us go!" asked the girl

"I can't let you go, my abilities must stay a secret until the end of this exam, I'm sorry" said Naruto

"WE WON'T TALK I SWEAR! I'LL EVEN QUIT BEING A NINJA! Just let me go" whined the now naked boy...to nothing as the last thing he saw was the two heads attacking him and his friend, leaving only the girl.

"I won't kill you since I don't like attacking women if it is not necessary, but what happened here MUST be a secret...I'll know if you spit out even the smallest bit of information, okay?" said Naruto, his sweet smile never leaving his face.

The girl only nodded, before collapsing from the shocking view.

After re-absorbing the poison released on the two victims, Naruto headed in the direction of his team, sporting his new black jumpsuit with grey pants and a white bandage on his left leg, the black sandals were a little big, but still comfortable.

"Better do a little sprint, those two are dead if I'm not there saving their asses, **Pika-Pika no: sprint!**" changing in a humanoid-shaped light, Naruto sprinted forward bouncing, jumping and turning in a unpredictable pace between branches and trees, all the while remembering how his life changed, paradoxically, thanks to a beating from a fruit vendor.

**Eight years ago**

_It was eight years ago, a seven year old Naruto was entering a fruit shop in the desperate need of food, being in a near starvation induced death, he was ready to eat even the rotten fruits this man used to give him...as long as he could eat something._

_It was before he discovered the paradise he know as "Ichiraku ramen shop"._

"_Stupid brother and his stupid smart-ass attitude, marrying that crazy bitch and leaving me with this shitty shop, family business my ass!" said Kanochi, the owner...arguably NOT the smartest one of the family, luckily for Naruto._

"_H-hello" said Naruto_

"_What the hell are you doing here Hell-spawn! Go away!" yelled the man_

"_Please I'm hungry! I'll pay! Just give me something, I don't care if its rotten" was pleading the boy_

"_What? I'll kill..no...wait a minute" said the man before going in the back of the store._

_His great-grandfather had founded somewhere six strange fruits that he said were the last of their kind, the note he left on the box with the fruits said something about them being dangerous, the rest was practically impossible to read due to being old._

"_Dangerous eh? I wonder why the old man kept them if they are dangerous...with those piece of paper ninja use to maintain stuff in good conditions too...maybe he hoped to use them as a poison source? Whatever.. before I leave this fucking store, I'll just sell them to the demon-brat..after I beat him unconscious of course, if I'm lucky he will die from the poison, Hehehehe" he said to himself._

_I told you he was not a very bright mind._

"_Listen well brat..this is what I can give you, but at one condition" said the man giving the box to Naruto_

"_What condition?" asked the boy_

"_I was hoping you asked" said the man, before giving the poor boy the beating of his life even using the same box as a weapon and emptying his wallet._

_**Later – Naruto's apartment**_

_Luckily his "Jiji" give the poor boy an apartment to call his own even if it was far from being an habitable place, not that the old Hokage knows that of course._

"_Well, beating apart, let's dig in" said Naruto in a feeble voice, swallowing whole one of them, it was a strange golden grape-fruit with an orange thunder-like marking (Goro-Goro no mi)._

_It takes a second to the boy to go spasming on the floor due to the Horrible taste of that thing._

"_**Kit! You can't believe what's happening here!**" said the fox._

_When he was five, Naruto had met the fox and upon learning who his father was and the meaning of the hate he was subjected to since he could remember, the boy had immediately sliced his throat open, saying that HE would save the village since his father couldn't, it took hours to the fox to heal the damages, but in the meantime he came to admire the courage that simple kid had._

_It takes two months, but in the end both demon and human were looking at each other as a long lost brother that they could die protecting._

"_What are you talking about Kurama?" asked the boy aloud, forgetting their mental link_

"_**That fruit transformed the whole place in a mass of electricity, but now everything is back to ****normal..Hey! we became a living thunder!...COOL!**" said the fox, giggling like a kid during Christmas._

"_There is a paper that says that those fruits are dangerous...and to stay away from sea-water if I read correctly" said Naruto, narrowing his eyes trying to decipher the almost white note._

"_**That's why I feel slightly weaker, but I'm still at a good 90% , since it's not not water from the sea the effect is less potent...uhm! I can't get this weakness off of you too, but I can store this fruit power myself, if you ever fall in water I can take over your body and use this power to defend you until you can act again since I won't be powerless by the contact with the water**"_

"_That's beautiful and all...BUT I WANNA USE THAT TOO!" yelled in his mind the boy _

"_**Calm down now! I can send it trough the seal don't worry**" said the fox, moving the now yellow tails OUTSIDE the seal, grabbing some pipes_

"_What if I eat another?" he asked_

"_**I don't know, just to be sure, I'll absorb it before it reaches your stomach, I'm a living mass of chakra energy, it shouldn't give me problems, just like poisons**" answered the fox._

_The next one Naruto ate was a dark-purple banana with a series of drop-like markings (Doku-doku no mi), needless to say the taste was equally awful._

_Since he wasn't feeling anything, Naruto decided to ask the fox._

"_Kurama?..KURAMA!" said the boy seeing the fox trashing and yelling before exploding in a gruesome manner_

"_KURAMA-NIICHAN!" he yelled again, crying_

_After a long silence, the blond could hear again the Kyuubi's voice._

"_**I'm okay kit...did you just called me ****niichan?**" asked the fox, painfully reforming in his previous form with now two yellow tails and two purple ones._

"_...Baka" said the blushing boy_

"_**That's okay, I think I can stand just another one, apparently those things were not intended to be eaten more than once...otouto**" said the fox, smiling mischievously on the last part._

"_Urusai! I just don't like having a dead fox in my stomach baka!" the blushing boy mentally scoffed, looking at the last fruit._

_It was a strange looking apple, it was all white with yellow suns all over it (Pika Pika no mi), bracing himself he ate the last one (he ate those not for the powers, he was starving after all)._

_The fox was still trashing, but this time he doesn't explode, rather, two of his tails turned in a bright white._

"_**Good, it seem that those two turns your body in poison and then in light..you couldn't make a better choice! As for the others, we need a place to hide them, Kami only knows what will happen ****if the wrong person found them,**" concluded Kurama._

_For the next eight years, Kurama went on experimenting on the fruits powers, creating techniques, all fox-themed, and creating strategies in case some elemental jutsus managed to disable one of them._

_Earth jutsus? Light_

_Fire and Wind ones? Lighting_

_Water...light and enough luck to not being hit_

_Poison for hand-to-hand and weapons users._

_Some exercises in Naruto's ninja art were in the mix just in case the fruits were useless, as well as body and mind training, Kurama started training the boy in everything he knows so that Naruto wouldn't end out dependent on his new "bloodline" as they decide to explain if someone start making questions. _

_During history lesson, useless since Kurama was ALREADY THERE with the fox being sealed inside the first Hokage's wife, both demon and vessel worked on creating new moves...with Kurama laughing maniacally with thunders cracking behind him every time they completed a new one._

_The poison one was the most entertaining, since with the exception of the Akimichi clan BBQ restaurant and Ichiraku, any other place always tried poisoning him._

_The very last attempt of using that kind of tactic was when a member of the civilian council hired a poison master from Suna and offered the kid an "all you can eat buffet"...after four hours of non-stop eating Naruto left the place with a Suna master crying in shame and a councilor crying after he saw the total bill of the dinner._

_Thanks to those two idiots, he now had a VERY vast array of poisons to use at his will since any time he swallowed one his body learned to reproduce it, unfortunately since the fox could only delay the diarrhea effect of the Doku-Doku no mi, the next day the boy had what Kurama named "the mother of all the cra.." well I think you understand._

**Forest of death clearing with team 7**

Stopping on a tree's branch, Naruto finally could see his team, he had made just in time as the pink haired fan-girl was desperately trying protecting a fainted Sasuke from a Sound Team, luckily both Rock Lee and his Team and the trio Ino-Shika-Cho had made their appearance coming in their aid.

"You are lucky we were near here setting up a camp, as for you from Sound, I suggest you to surrender or else you'll be destroyed" said Hyuuga Neji as he activated his Byakugan to make his message more clear.

"Well, at least they weren't alone...but the Teme had something strange...his chakra feel..Corrupted?" thought Naruto, looking intensely at the Uchiha that was now coming out of his slumber, what puzzled the young Uzumaki were the strange marks covering most of Sasuke's body.

The last loyal Sharingan user then started looking around, before spotting Sakura, then, as if deep in thought about what to do, he finally activated his Sharingan and stood glaring at the Sound team.

"Someone should have told you that I was here, I suggest you to flee this exam since before me you three are only miserable flies " said Sasuke staring at the Sound Team

"A Curse Seal?.. it doesn't matter if Orochimaru-sama gave you one since our mission is killing you, you will die. " said Dosu knowing the power behind the Uchiha's Curse Seal, without asking himself why giving him one if the three of them were ordered to kill the boy.

"Then I have to thank that man for giving me this...with this power now I'm one step closer to achieve my goal to kill Him and one day revive my clan" said Sasuke

He then proceed to punch Dosu in the stomach, his fist going through the boy's torso.

"Good move, it's a pity it was still SOOO slow, teme" said Naruto appearing near Kin, the girl's other teammate was dead with a fuming hole where his heart should have been.

"When did he hit him? SINCE when he was HERE?!" were in anyone mind as the blond was now sitting on a rock, taking away some dirt from under his nails with a kunai.

Sasuke stood glaring at him for few moments then decided to attack him for stealing his "prey", when he was few inches from Naruto the Avenger was sent flying back against a tree trunk, losing consciousness again, making the marking on his body fading away.

All the while Naruto didn't even move a muscle.

"I suggest you to run away, even if I know you are not as bad as the others, you three attacked my comrades, you better flee before I use you as target practice" said Naruto calmly

"Thank you" she said before running away

"Where the hell where you? Sasuke-kun could have been dead you baka!" said Sakura trying punching him before being stopped by Tenten.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked to the weapon mistress

"Protecting my boyfriend of course" answered a smiling Tenten

"What! I thought Neji was.." Sakura didn't finish the sentence since said Bun-haired girl used the handle of her kunai to _gently_ put her to sleep.

"So it's time to reveal it, as you wish" said Neji

"Well it was sweet to you to help me hiding it" said the girl before hugging the fox container

"Since when you were together?" asked Ino, hating not knowing everything that happens around her

"Since he was ten, I met him in a disused training ground practicing, we started talking and a week later there was our first date" answered Tenten.

"This mean...five years? YOU PRETENDED TO LOVE SAKURA FOR FIVE YEARS?" asked Choji

"I'm a good actor" was the blond boy answer

"Troublesome, let's just go to the tower, I need a nap" said Shikamaru taking the head of the group now tree-running to the central tower.

Conjuring two clones, Naruto grabbed the Avenger and the banshee to drag them there.

"So Naruto-san...are you ok? If I have to listen to what Sakura said, you should have been dead" asked Neji

"No no, I'm okay, I have some hidden tricks that I will soon show to everyone, my friend" answered Naruto.

He and Neji were friend since the first time the blond and Tenten start dating, both boys had found easy to talk to each other, because contrary to Hinata, Neji had a calm and gentle side that always seem to placate the "Uzumaki Maelstrom" .

Hinata on the contrary, was cold and sure of her position as clan heiress and her superiority in fight, she was a strong supporter of the fact that whatever the Fate says, it couldn't ever be changed.

(I basically switched Hinata and Neji's psychology again, long story short, a _Nejified _Hinata and an _Hinata-ish _Neji, I liked how it went for my other story)

"What about your cousin? Is she still preaching about fate and such?" asked Naruto

"Unfortunately, yes, and now it's even worst...Hiashi-sama had revealed to us your heritage, but I can't tell you anything else" said Neji

"If it is about the fact I'm the son of Minato the _Yellow flash _and Kushina _the red death_, then I already know that" this almost made the other nins fell from the trees they were on.

"YOU ARE THE SON OF THE FOURTH?" yelled Ino, giving voice at everyone question

"Yes, my _tenant_ told me" answered Naruto

"Tenant? Who?" asked Lee

"The nine-tailed fox...do you seriously believe that something like that could be killed just by a man? My father sealed it inside me, the clan heirs can tell you that as I know that they were told" said Naruto letting out a chuckle at the slack-jawed kids near him.

"No...actually dad never told me THAT! WAIT! That's why you couldn't do a bushin! How much chakra did you have with _that _inside of you?" asked Choji, pointing at Naruto's belly.

"Well, during my first attempt of the Kage-bushin I actually made two thousand of them"

"Troublesome that's what you are! The largest group of kage-bushins ever made was one hundred clones, and the guy died of chakra exhaustion immediately after!" said Shikamaru, remembering the story of that particular jutsu's creation.

"Naruto-san it's just that awesome...doesn't it?" said Neji imitating Naruto's voice

"Very funny Neji...totally funny" said the boy with a pout.

"Wait, Neji, you said that Hiashi telling Hinata about Naruto's heritage is a problem, why?" asked Chouji

"It's a problem because since then Hinata-san decided that her _Fate_ was set, she keep saying that's your fate is to stay by her side, but I don't see love in that maybe Lust...but I think she consider Naruto as a trophy only the Hyuuga heiress is worth having, I'm sorry" said Neji looking ashamed.

"Do you have a formal dress?" Tenten asked

"Yes I do...why?" asked Neji

"I'm just going to kill Hinata" answered the girl

"I fear for the women that will try to separate you two" said Choji

"Haku tried, but we decided to share" said Tenten

"Haku? The apprentice of the Demon of the Hidden Mist?" asked Ino

"Yeah, after the whole bridge fight I stopped Kakashi-sensei from killing him, now I have Zabuza acting as a body-guard and another girl coming after me" answered Naruto

"...You are a lucky bastard, you know this?" said Shikamaru

"You make it look like I had any choice in that regard" answered the boy

"Yup! Me and Haku forced him to accept, that or we would have joined the duck-ass fan-club" said Tenten, suppressing the instinct of puking at the idea

"That was an horrible way to achieve your goal" said Neji

"TOTALLY UN-YOUTHFUL!" yelled Lee

"OOOOH! Shut it!" answered the bun-haired girl.

**The tower – second part of the exam – several days later**

The news of Orochimaru's presence in the exam wasn't something Hiruzen was expecting, but the Cursed seal on Sasuke was fortunately took under vision and blocked by Kakashi, until the boy's Will didn't falter the block will resist.

Now in the internal arena of the tower stood every Genning that had passed the scroll hunt in the forest, the fact that Naruto killed a team from Kumo and took their equipment was known only by Hiruzen, the others were just wondering why he never dressed like that if he had that clothes.

"Okay! Since we have too many members taking part, we'll have a preliminary match to cut out an half your numbers" said Hiruzen

"I wish to leave, I have no chakra left!" said Kabuto

"What's wrong? Did your ass still hurt after last night of passion with Orochimaru?" asked Naruto

"THAT HAPPENED ONLY ONCE! AND I WAS DRUNK TOO, IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF OROCHIMARU-SAMA IS A PISS-POOR DRINKER!" yelled a red-faced Kabuto

"...UH-oh!" he whined as an horde of ANBU rained on him

"Take him away for questioning! Naruto...how did you know that?" asked Sarutobi

"I guessed...he smelled of snakes so unless he sleeps surrounded by reptiles it could have mean that he worked for a snake summoner...and I know only two of them so I tried my luck" said the boy scratching the back of his head.

"Well..It worked after all" said Hiruzen motioning the next proctor to came out

"Good morning _COUGH!_, I'm Hayate Gekko _COUGH!_ and I'll be the _COUGH!_...the _COUGH!_ one calling the matches _COUGH!_ of this part of the exam" said the proctor between fits of cough

**Naruto Uzumaki Vs Kuromoi**

Kuromoi was what you could easily call an average gennin from Kumo, or if you feel particularly bastard "Meat-shield #21", practically a filler cannon-fodder usually used by us authors to show-off how cool the lead characters are. "HEY! That's no fair!" yelled the boy.

"What's wrong?" asked Naruto

"I don't know, I just feel like someone is fucking with my life" said the boy

"Enough chit-chat! Hajime!" yelled Hayate starting the match

"Prepare to die! I am famous in Kumo as _The living thunder_, you are no match for me! **Raiton: Thunder bullet!**" flying through hand-seals the Kumo gennin launched from his mouth a ball of condensed lighting, hitting Naruto squarely in the chest and opening an hole in it

"He..he didn't even had the time to dodge!" said Kakashi

"Poor thing, at least it was fast so he died painlessly" said Kurenai, a red-eyed woman considered a genjutsu master.

"That's all? Really?" asked Naruto

"WHAT?" asked/yelled everyone present

"Oh! This? Just a minute" said Naruto with the hole in his chest being covered in poison before transforming back into flesh

"T-the seal is breaking?" asked Hiruzen

"No Jiji! Let's say that thanks to that Grass-nin I unlocked a part of me that I didn't know about and _IT_ it's not that something" answered Naruto

"Have you finished you freak? And I want as well know why did you have Toshi's clothes" asked Kuromoi

"I took them from him before I killed him, he used some nice and warm clothes indeed, classy stuff" Naruto said toying with the jacket

"DAMN YOU! YOU MONSTER!" the Kumo boy yelled charging at him

"I am no monster, _Living Thunder_..." Naruto said cocking back his fist, making it cracking with electric power.

"I-AM-A-GOD! **Goro-goro no:Raijin!**" he yelled trusting his hand forward, shooting a stream of energy bigger than his own body, disintegrating Kuromoi and destroying everything on his path until the attack crashed against the wall leaving a sizable hole in it.

**(Raijin is a god of lightning, thunder and storms in the Shinto religion and in Japanese mythology. Naruto version of Eneru's el Thor)**

"Winner: Uzumaki" said Hayate

"Naruto we need to talk, come to my office with me" said Hiruzen

"But, Hokage-sama, the exam is not finished yet!" said Hayate

"I need to talk to one of my shinobis, he already passed this part since he won his fight, now follow me" ordered the old man

"If it will make you happy" said Naruto letting the Hokage shunshin him to his office.

**Hokage Tower – Hiruzen's office - **

Activating the privacy seals Hiruzen sat behind his desk, an hard expression on his face.

"That wasn't a regular jutsu, you didn't use hand-seals, is the Fox possessing you?" he asked

"The Fox here, the Fox there, seriously...every time I do something good you people ask me if I used the Kyuubi power, I'm sick of it" answered the boy.

"So the seal is still strong?"

"It's even stronger now, that Orochimaru used some technique to cut off the Fox chakra from me, I was forced to use my powers before the time" answered Naruto walking towards the windows of the office.

"Powers?" asked Hiruzen

"Let's call it a Bloodline, I can convert myself in living poison, light and lightning"

"So it was really you the one that killed those Kumo gennin team, Anko said that they were practically filled to the brim with poison, so much that it took the place of their blood"

"So what? They attacked me and I defended myself" said Naruto. His tone cold and void

"It doesn't matter to you that they were dead?" asked Sarutobi

"You are talking to a shinobi...we are trained to kill, stole and sometimes protect and even then we protect our client by killing whatever menace is threatening his well-being" was the answer

"What happened to you? You were such a good kid"

"I'm still that kid, but you can't pretend that I like what this.." he said pointing at the village "has done to me"

"They _killed you,_ is that what you mean?" asked Hiruzen

"More or less, I won't lie to you Jiji...I wish to destroy this place..." said the boy

"WHAT?!"

"The only reason that I didn't transform this place in a smoking crater is that somehow you and my father found something here that's worth enough to keep existing, but for all I know the Fox could have been right to level this place"

"I'm sorry then...ANBU take him under custody" Hiruzen said in a whisper

As the group of four ANBU rushed to attack him the boy smirked.

"**Pika Pika no: Yari**" (yari – spear) from Naruto's body came out four spear-like ray of lights that went flying towards the ANBU, the light-fast weapons went squarely through their chest, launching them on the wall were they stood unconscious

"NARUTO! STOP THIS! THAT'S AN ORDER!" Hiruzen yelled grabbing the boy's shoulder only to came to an halt as a feeling of numbness went over his body.

"Touching a man able to turn into poison is not a smart move Jiji" said Naruto calmly before turning to look on Hiruzen face

"Now listen please" the boy said making the Hokage sit down

"I'm sick of this" he said glaring hardly at the Hokage, their nose touching

"Sick of what?" he asked calmly, by now he couldn't move and the guards were unconscious, for all He wanted to not admit that, his life was on Naruto's hands at the moment.

"EVERYTHING!" the boy yelled

"The hateful glares, the teachers and other instructors ignoring me, the shops selling me rotten food and rusted equipment with price so high to make a Daimyo curse.

I hate being forced to sleep with an eye open because at any moment a mob of villagers may come to my apartment to trash it and try to kill me! I'm sick of being considered the dead last because those assholes didn't even try to acknowledge me and Iruka alone can help me only until a certain point! I'm sick to have all my hard work used to praise the Uchiha, His eyes are good only to copy techniques and cast genjutsu for God sake! For him to unlock other powers it needs an higher level and if that prick didn't learn the meaning of hard work just like us mortals he will never achieve that!"

"I-It's not my fault if things are like this" tried saying Hiruzen

"Not your fault? YOU ARE THE FUCKING HOKAGE YOU OLD MONKEY! We are a ninja village, a NINJA village! Civilian Councilors are here only to provide CIVILIAN oriented ideas! They need us and then and only THEN we need them, without us they only are hopeless idiots! Look at what happened to Wave, they had to call ninjas from outside because they couldn't free themselves from Gato...Gato! A fucking midget with a suit! And it took my team, a team of KIDS, to make them grow a pair!" yelled again Naruto

"Then what did you want from me?" asked Hiruzen growing angry by the boy's tone while Naruto's gaze moved towards the forest of death.

From the tower there a red smoke could be seen.

"You are getting angry? You owe me Sarutobi Hiruzen! You left me to rot on the streets for three years before giving me a shitty apartment that you don't even try to see if it was possible to live in, and let me tell you that it was used to store the garbage before I started living there and they never cleaned" he said letting the shock-faced Hokage to think while grabbing the old man crystal ball

"What are you doing?" he asked

"Tenten launched the signal, her match is the next, I'll make you see something interesting" he said trusting the ball between their faces.

**Exam Tower – Tenten match**

"The next match will be Tenten Vs Hinata Hyuuga, may those two came down please?" asked

"Fate choose me, I won't lose" said Hinata taking her Jouken stance.

"I talked to my Naru-kun before, I'm going to show you what real power is" Tenten said calmly

"Naru-kun? Such a boy is wasted with a clan-less thing like you, someone with his heritage it's mean to stay with someone like me, a Hyuuga heiress, my clan is the only one able to match his" the heiress said proudly

"Then fight me, let's see your mighty clan techniques against me, I'll make you understand the meaning of Humility" said Tenten

"I won already..." Hinata whispered from behind Tenten

"You are fast, I admit that" said Tenten still not moving

"And you are within my field of divination.._**Hakke Rokujuyon Sho!" **_Hinata called out

"Two palms!" she said hitting Tenten

"Four palms! Eight palms! Sixteen palms!" at every yell an attack landed on the defenseless bun-haired girl

"Thirty-two palms!...SIXTY-FOUR PALMS!" Hinata finally ended launching Tenten against the wall

"Proctor call the match, she won't get up any time soon" Hinata said giving her back to Tenten

"I...I can't" said Hayate pointing at the wall

"Why?" Hinata asked turning, a metallic-grey fist connected with her jaw sending her flying back

The owner of the fist was what looked like a living mass of liquid metal that then re-formed in Tenten (**A/N try to visualize a fusion between the T-x and the T1000 from Terminator**)

"What are you?" asked Hinata

"A ninja, the girlfriend of the strongest warrior ever existed...and a walking armory!" yelled Tenten before running towards the heiress.

"I attacked your tenketsu! You shouldn't be able to move!" Hinata yelled reassuming an attack position

"Then watch and learn! **Buki-Buki no: cannon!**" Tenten said launching a smoke bomb, immediately explosions rocketed the arena, covering everything with an even thicker cloud of smoke

"What happened?" asked worried Kurenai

Once the smoke cleared what the audience could see was a smiling Tenten with her left arm morphed in a big, black cylinder while a seriously beaten and slightly smoking Hinata stood laying at her feet, the whole arena turned in a war zone with craters here and there.

"W-Winner of the match: Tenten!" stuttered Hayate, coughing fit momentarily forgotten

Said girl transformed back her arm and casually walked back to her place.

**Hokage tower – Hiruzen Office - **

"A really beautiful girl, isn't she? I gave her the same powers I have and they fit her perfectly, as long as she knows how a weapon works she can replicate it" said a smiling Naruto

"Amazing" could only say Hiruzen

"Now listen carefully, she and Haku are the only two reason I didn't started killing the worthless animals that inhabited this place, if something happen to them the whole village will be forfeit!" said Naruto returning to glare at the old man

"What did you want? You still have to tell me!" asked angrily Hiruzen, only to froze at the glare Naruto gave him

"I want everything you people took away from me! YOU will call Jiraya of the sannin here to adjust my seal.." started Naruto

"But..The fox..." said Hiruzen

"DON'T INTERRUPT! My father sealed the Kyuubi in me forcing me to endure a life of living Hell, That power is now mine and I will use it! The Fox was more a family and a friend than anyone I ever met.

I WANT TRAINING, HIRUZEN! And I want It NOW! I don't care how many people you have to bribe or to threat with death sentences, I want all the training that was always denied to me in favor of a spoiled idiot of an Uchiha that is STILL behind me..trust me when I say that even without those powers and the Fox at the academy I was the one to kick his ass every-single-time! But of course Mizuki had to fail me because of the Kyuubi...fortunately he tried using me to steal the Forbidden Scroll, after learning the Kage Bushin I killed the fucker before he could kill Iruka.

I want Jutsus and tips on how to improve! I had to use the Fox too many times when I could have simply won by myself if I was even remotely trained properly, YOU will tell everyone who are my parents, my heritage was kept away from me for too long, now I want what is rightfully mine!" yelled Naruto

"B-But Iwa will..." tried saying Hiruzen

"IWA MY ASS! Let them come! I'll kill them and take their equipment, I always liked their uniforms and since that other old bastard of Onoki will certainly send his ANBU I will have lots of high quality gear instead of that garbage they sell in our shops!"

"But..but!" stammered Hiruzen

"But? There are no _But_s here...I will obey YOU directly of course, you may as well give me a forehead protector with _Sarutobi_ written on it, this village is not worth my efforts, if I will ever protect them it will be because you asked, do not expect me to risk my life for those idiots just because I have a good heart...they all shat on it long time ago.

I want Jiraya to train me too...the old pervert bastard was my godfather and he never acted like one...I know that both he and Tsunade were chosen to watch over me since the Kyuubi heard you asking them to stay, but even if I understand that Tsunade didn't want to come back here due to her pain, I can't forgive Jiraya, he will have to pay back for everything. Things need to change here Jiji, You people can't pretend that I will be forever your play-thing, even my patience has limits and it is almost finished" said the boy

"You know the chaos those things will provide" said Hiruzen trying to resonate with the boy

"It's YOUR problem, Hiruzen, not mine...you have 24 hours...after that, if Jiraya isn't here I will take away Zabuza, Tenten and Haku and then destroy the village, killing everyone I judge not worth of my forgiveness"

"WHAT? YOU CAN'T DO THAT!" yelled Hiruzen, before an incredible amount of killer-intent washed over him

"I CAN'T ? AND WHY I SHOULDN'T ? Listen well, I'm not that idiot you people all used to know! It was a fake! A mask I created to survive! I want what is rightfully mine either if you give it to me willingly or I take it by force! I don't want people kissing my feet, mind you, Sasuke can have them for all I care...But I want The Respect I was meant to have when my family sacrificed itself for your village well-being! I'm the one keeping the Kyuubi from doing the whole planet a favor and slaughter you all! You should at least thank me and not try to kill me DAMMIT!" the boy yelled again

"I...I'm sorry" finally said Hiruzen

"That's better, now remember what I asked you...you have 24 hours, by that time Jiraya MUST be here, ready to give me back the Kyuubi's power, if I have to keep that burden at least let me have few benefits from it" Naruto said opening the window

"I..I'll try, trust me" said Sarutobi

"You are one of the few people I really trust here, as I said, I am YOUR weapon, Not of the Hokage and certainly NOT of Konoha, but the weapon of Hiruzen Sarutobi. Just not cont too much on that, I can always kill you if you ever do anything that will endanger my precious people.

The poison I gave you will stop working in few minutes, with the added bonus of cleaning your lungs...you should quit smoking Jiji, I need you alive" Naruto said before jumping down the window

"I will" he said smiling

"So I have a weapon now? Danzo will throw a tantrum once he heard about this...who knows...he may be right, this place is growing arrogant and having him answering only to me may help in keeping things on the line...living in a dirty apartment and the teachers ignoring him...maybe I would act like him if that was my situation..." thought Hiruzen, a smirk surfacing on his face feeling his body usable again.

"Ashino please, have Jiraya of the sannin to come here as soon as possible, tell him he has less than 24 hours before I sentence him for betrayal for not answering my call" said Hiruzen at his secretary while walking out of his office, those ANBU were breathing so the were only unconscious, nothing to worry about.

"Betrayal? Are you sure Hokage-sama?" asked the woman

"I need him here quickly, he will _research_ later, now is time for him to act as a professional shinobi and answer to my orders...and call a council meeting, I need those old farts to hear what I have to say" answered Hiruzen.

"Hai! Hokage-sama!"

**Council Room – one hour later-**

"Ha! Naruto here you are!" said Hiruzen as the boy entered the room, The Hokage had called the boy in the room after the end of the exam, he will fight Sabaku no Temari in the finals and the boy seemed eager to fight the wind mistress.

"So _This_ is the son of the fourth? Impossible, such Demon Spawn is not the offspring or our greatest hero!" said a civilian before a ball of light took away his head without even the smallest drop of blood staining the wall

"MONSTER! THE KYUUBI TOOK OVER HIS BODY!" yelled Sakuno, mother of Sakura Haruno

"SILENCE! Hakao went against my law by calling him demon, and you did that too councilor Haruno, it could be his right to kill you" said Hiruzen smirking at the shaking woman

"Shall I kill her Jiji-sama?" said Naruto earning a chuckle from the Hokage for the new honorific

After thinking about it, Hiruzen came to the conclusion that it was time for things to change, and his unofficial grandson would have helped him in that regard.

They will even get closer that way and that was a plus for him.

"It's not necessary this time" he said to the boy

"As you wish"

"We are here today discuss of a deceased clan's rebirth, since the Namikaze clan has an heir I don't see why not letting him take what belongs to him" simply said Hiruzen

"Why Him?" asked Sakuno surprisingly in a low voice

"As I told you before he is the son of the fourth"

"NO! HE ISN'T! MEMBERS OF THE COUNCIL WE CAN?T LET _THAT_ STAIN THE NAME OF MINATO-SAMA!" yelled Homura, an ex- teammate of Sarutobi

"Why not? I already know who he was, that's why I wanted him for my ROOT" said Danzo

"And turn him into an emotionless puppet? NEVER!" yelled Sarutobi

"Who said that my ROOT are emotionless? I trained them to not show emotions DURING MISSION! I never said that they were emotionless...who was the one you talked with?" said the war hawk

"It was Homura..." answered Hiruzen

"It's true! One of them had his face frozen in the same expression no matter what!" answered the elder

"That was Kinuchi..He saw his father kill the whole family, I will like to see YOU in his place" answered Danzo

"Then why they obey only to you?" asked Hiruzen

"Because I want few soldiers ready to fight just in case the civilian council tries anything with our regular ANBU"

"The ANBU are loyal to me, you know?"

"Yes, but those people keep meddling with you and your work and I won't let your old age be used against the village" said Danzo

"Old age? How old are you? 137?" said Naruto, several snickering could be heard from the shinobi council

"I'm 76 okay? By the way I approve the motion for the election of Naruto as Namikaze heir, someone else is in favor?" Danzo said lifting his hand

The whole shinobi section lifted their hands

"Since the majority is favorable, Naruto namikaze is now the clan head of the Namikaze clan, and just to be sure...Zabuza Momochi, Haku Momochi and Tenten are under his protection" said Sarutobi

"Why Tenten too?" asked Hiashi

"Because she used few special abilities during her fight and since she is together with Naruto I don't want the Uchiha heir storming here demanding her in marry" said Hiruzen

"Why he shouldn't? If she is strong she should be honoured to be married to him!" said a civilian woman

"**Doku Doku no: sulfuric sphere!**" yelled Naruto spitting a blueish ball of poison that melted desk and wall in an instant, luckily the woman managed to dodge

"That's why...see, Naruto here signed a paper stating that he will take orders directly from me Hiruzen Sarutobi, nor as Hokage but as a man, in exchange of his services as MY personal weapon the ones he deems his precious people MUST not be touched, should this rule not being respected he will retaliate with lethal force" said Hiruzen smirking at Naruto

"That's unforgivable! He is a monster and he need to know his place below us humans! His superiors!" said Homura

"I beg you to reconsider that affirmation, he seem able to manipulate freely poisons and lightning without using hand-seals...if you ask me, I think that HE is your superior dear civilians" said Hiashi

"HOW DARE YOU!" screeched Sakuno

"A shinobi can spit fire, walking on water and walls, summon beasts...I never saw you Councilor Haruno doing that...he has a peculiar Bloodline we didn't know about, maybe because his parents never awakened it, so calling him a monster for what he can do means call every shinobi a monster" said Tsume

"I mean having _That_ sealed inside him!" said Sakuno

"The Kyuubi, its name is Kurama by the way, is under my control and won't cause havoc if not provoked, it means that if an attack from you, dear civilians, goes too far I _may _let it out a bit to play" Naruto said smiling sweetly making the councilors start sweating bullets

"I'm sure that we can live together peacefully..N-N-Naruto-san" said a councilor

"I hope that too, you are all dismissed, I'll accompany Naruto to his new home with his family" said Hiruzen

**Konoha streets**

"You know...It's funny that in the end he still became a weapon for the village" said Danzo

"Why are you following us?" asked Hiruzen

"He has a month before the finals...I was wondering if me and few ROOT members can help him" said the war hawk

"Why you should help me?" asked Naruto

"Me and Hiruzen have a different view of this village, but both of us know that this time of peace is not meant to last, if Orochimaru was present, it will mean that he is plotting something, and if you are ready I will feel a little more secure" answered Danzo

"You can help him only if you promise me he won't become a soulless weapon" said Hiruzen

"oh come on you old fool! You saw them! They aren't soulless drones! I simply took the rejects of the academy and trained them! The ones not showing emotions are the ones I took from the psychiatric ward of the Hospital, better like that than trying to kill themselves fearing the voices only they could hear" said Danzo

"And the bandaged arm and eye?" asked Naruto

"This were countermeasure in case you were a psycho with the Kyuubi inside, now that I know that you are sane, powerful and somehow _Loyal_ to the village I will use them only if necessary" answered Danzo

"What did you do?" asked Sarutobi

"I have an arm with the sharingans I took after the whole massacre, as well as the first Hokage cells...I know it sound disgusting but it was intended to stop the boy in case he goes on a rampage" said Danzo

"I can still kill everyone here without a second thought if they force me" said Naruto

"I said _Rampage_ not _Rightful Revenge_" smirked Danzo

"So you were a good boy since the beginning?" asked Sarutobi

"We have quite the wild parties on Friday at our bases, you two should take parts, we have the finals of the "Mud fight tournament" this night" said Danzo laughing

"Mud fight?" asked Sarutobi

"My best kunoichi fighting in a pool of mud with on only a string-bikini and their masks, the winner will have a paid week at the SPA here in Konoha" answered Danzo

"Why not...I'll come" said Naruto

"Very well, said that I think that I can accept your help with his training...I may as well help too" said Hiruzen

"isn't that against the rules?" asked mockingly Danzo

"I'm the Hokage here, if I want I can force the ANBU to shift their uniforms with a Tutu and they will be forced to accept, I am the boss here!" answered Sarutobi.

"Sounds good to me! But can I have a Sharingan too? I think Kurama can modify me enough to make it something I can give to my children, even if only one" said Naruto

"Children with only one Sharingan? Better than anything I guess, at least we'll have something just in case Sasuke-san showed that he isn't worth the effort" answered Danzo

"Yeah, at least we know that Naruto won't betray us at the first occasion" said Sarutobi.

"Okay then, I'll have the operating room ready, now let's go, the sooner you take control of the house the sooner we can start...Weapon-kun" joked Danzo

"_Weapon-kun_?...I like it, it sound awesome!" said Naruto

The three kept walking towards the boy's new home, his fate finally changing in the one it should have been from the beginning.

**The end! Now to make things clearer, the whole rant of Naruto was something that in my opinion was due since they treated him like he was garbage, so now he simply want what everyone else had since the beginning: Training, Respect and a place to call Home and now he has the power to pretend them and take them by force if the need arise, he is not bad just tired of how his life was going until that moment.**

**Slightly Dark!Naruto, he will be good with his friends but ruthless and without mercy with everyone else (Come on! Even in canon he had a shitty life, It's almost normal to me that he doesn't care about the village, excluding the very few friends he has) Good!Danzo (this one is something that always had my interest, He and Sarutobi used to be friends if I recall correctly so why not).**

**Powerful!Naruto ( no god-like, but REALLY powerful!) Few bashing here and there and few Out Of Character moment when needed.**

**Review if you like, flamers are just wasting time since HERE between all my stories is the least I care about them, but this is a free world so write insults if you feel compelled ^ ^.**

**Put in the favorite/follower group if you want and tell me what do you think about it.**

**BYE ^ ^**


	2. Chapter 2

**The second chapter is finally here, please enjoy ^ ^ here there is a little discussion between Naruto and Hiruzen about a certain _fight _ is till on going on Internet, especially on Forums, it was intended for a laugh so please don't feel insulted.  
**

**Pairing : Naru/Ten/femHaku/Anko**

**Settings: Dark!Naruto - Good!Danzo – Powerful!Naruto – Bashing here and there – Few OOC moments if I need them...and maybe few Pervy!Konoha moments. **

**Fruits used:**

**Naruto:**

**Doku Doku no mi : venom venom fruit (Last User-Magellan)**

**Pika Pika no mi : light light fruit (L.U-Kizaru)**

**Goro Goro no mi : Rumble rumble fruit (L.U-Enel)**

**Others:**

**Buki-buki no mi: arms-arms fruit ( L.U baby 5) given to ****Tenten**** with the variation of being**

**Buki-Buki no mi, model ****Ekitai kinzoku**** ( model liquid metal)**

**Gura Gura no mi : tremor tremor fruit (L.U-whitebeard) given to ****Haku**

**Hebi He****bi no mi model cobra : given to ****Anko**

**-Addiction:****Nikyu Nikyu no Mi: Paw-paw fruit (L.U Kuma ****Bartholomew****) given to ****Moegi****.**

**Moegi will act with Naruto similar as how Yachiru acted with Zaraki. ****PLEASE**** tell me if you wish to add her to the blond's Girl list or just leave her that way.**

" **You bastard"** - demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't Own Naruto, One Piece or whatever I use or will use**

**Chapter 2: The Weapon meets the girl**

**Konoha - Yondaime's home – training ground – a week before the finals**

Jiraiya of the sannin, a man wearing a red dress with long grey hair and an Hitai-ate with _Oil_ written on it was watching the blond Namikaze training, giving him tips from time to time whenever the boy changed exercise.

"You know...You are not so bad as a teacher Jiraiya, your only problem is your being a pervert, but still...you know what you are doing" said a grinning Naruto

"Compliments won't make me forget the beating you gave me" answered the Toad Sage

"Whatever, I'm just making you doing what you should have done from the beginning" answered the boy

"I HAD A SPY NETWORK!" yelled Jiraiya

"Like I care old pervert, all you need to know is that you and that Senju woman owe me and I will have my pound of flesh"

"Forcing me to train you by threatening to blow up the village is not the right way to do things"

"Spare me that shitty talk about justice, I'm the victim here! Look what I have to do to obtain what the others have, I'm tired of repeat myself...and still, the Toads were with me in this, remember?"

"Of course I remember! After you summoned Gamabunta and told him your story they banished me from the contract! It was only because I promised to train you that they took me back" Jiraiya said looking down

"You two were my parents only family...and still you left me here to die" Naruto said quietly

"Just like your mother, a master in the guilt course, I liked more when you used that electric powers of yours to fry my ass...I'm sorry, okay?" he finally said

"Too late Jiraiya, I will respect your abilities and your title as Sannin, but I won't simply start calling you _Family_ just because you said "sorry", it will take time IF I ever decide to forgive you" answered the boy with a hard face

"It's a start, luckily waiting was never a problem for me" said Jiraiya smiling.

"Suit yourself" answered the boy.

The sound of steps signaled the arrival of another person.

"That's should be enough for today Naruto-san, Danzo-sama wants you to rest this week, the finals are approaching" said a ROOT boy with a pale face and a smile seemingly etched on his face.

"If you insist, Sai" muttered the blond boy.

He was now standing on his arms, his pointers on the tip of a kunai each in a variation of the classical chakra control exercise, flexing his arms he jumped in the air landing on his feet.

"Did you used the scrolls Danzo-sama sent you?" asked Sai

"Yeah, good stuff, thank Danzo for me, that bandaged fool knows how to make a boy happy!" Naruto said grinning

"Danzo-sama copied them from the scrolls in the secret vaults of other Kages, please refrain yourself from saying out loud that you possess them" said Sai

"How or who he took them from is not my concern, they contain cool jutsus and techniques, that's all I care about" answered the boy

"Good to hear that, I'll make sure to make Danzo-sama know that you appreciated his efforts" the pale ROOT said bowing and disappearing in a shunshin.

"So you really are a weapon?" asked Jiraiya

"I care about my Jiji and my precious people...If I have to be a living Weapon to protect them so be it, no-one will hurt them if I can do something about it" simply said the boy while using a small **Suiton** to wash himself and then changing clothes.

"You still are a caring boy just like Minato, that's good to hear" said Jiraiya with a big smile.

"Namikaze-san?" asked an eagle masked ANBU appearing in front of the boy, before finding himself surrounded by ROOT with their weapons pointed at his vitals immediately afterward.

As Hiruzen and Danzo were expecting, once the news of the REAL name of Naruto came out of Konoha, several villages that still were holding a grudge against Minato sent their ninjas to kill the boy...great mistake it was.

After each attack the bodies were sent back to their villages naked since Naruto had took the habit of taking away their belongings, all the training and killing had helped the boy to develop an insane love for fights and violence, shifting his face in an eternal grin.

"God, it's like having Kempachi-san as a weapon" will mutter Hiruzen once the change became evident, referring to a character of an old Manga of his youth.

The very last attack from Iwa had their ANBU sent back with still their swords on them and a message: -_Can you please send someone with a Spear or a War-Hammer? I have no space left for swords in my armoury, thank you. Naruto Namikaze (The son of the man that kicked the ass of your shinobis and __Fucked __your women raw__) -_ all with a smiling face drawn near the sign.

After that message, and the promise of a war with Iwa if the boy didn't apologies sent in response (they are still waiting), Danzo ordered several ROOT to patrol the compound just to protect the invaders from the boy.

"What do you want? If you wish to fight me you'll have to wait until next month, I have already other reservations for now" said Naruto

"I know, I have a reservation for after the exam, The reason I am here is because Hokage-sama needs to meet you" answered the ANBU

"Okay-okay I'm coming, I hope this time the old man will give me one of those mission where I can kill something" answered Naruto positioning the eye patch back on his right eye.

Danzo had implanted Mikoto's eye on the boy on Naruto's request, he said that the woman other than a bomb-shell was the only one to not being a jerk in that clan.

**Konoha – Mission Hall -**

Both boy and ANBU appeared in the room in a swirl of leaves, the old man smiled looking at the boy's appearance.

"Zaraki-kun" Hiruzen said smiling signalling the ANBU to leave.

"Stop calling me like that stupid Manga character...and I still say that One Piece is way better than that garbage in both story and characters!" said Naruto with his devilish grin

"UMPF! Always the same PieceTard, when will you understand how much Kurosaki can kick Luffy's ass from here to Kumo!" answered Hiruzen in a scoff

"What? Are you joking right?..._UUH Look at me! I'm a Pretty boy with a girly dress that needs a stupid magic chant to use some Hax power from my overpowered sword and n__eeds a power-up every three pages to even wipe my ass!_" said Naruto in a feminine voice

"At least they didn't have to fear water!_ OH Poor little me! I have a sad story from my childhood BUUUH! Let's make three whole chapters of flashbacks!_" answered Hiruzen punching the table whining in the same girly voice.

"Bleachtard!" yelled Naruto

"Pirate Wanker!" Yelled Hiruzen

"Filler Lover!" yelled Naruto

"Flashbacks Supporter!" yelled Hiruzen

"**HOW DARE YOU! YOU FUCKING** **OTAKU!**" yelled both growling at each other

"Please stop bickering!" said Iruka

"Ok...we'll continue this discussion another day" said Hiruzen sitting down

"So old man, what do you need?" asked Naruto

"I have a mission for you and you're _Abilities_" said Hiruzen

"And the rest of my Team? Last time I checked the scarecrow was training the Emochiha and Sakura...well, she was being Sakura, a total useless fan-girl" said Naruto

"There will be no need, but since you remembered me how our dear Kakashi always played favourites, I think I will pay him a visit" said Hiruzen

"Good, what kind of mission is that you have for me?" asked the boy

"I have a bandit camp that needs to be..._Removed,_ can you please ask them to leave?" said Hiruzen

"I'll be gentle, diplomatic and...AAH! FUCK IT! I'll just make the Hell rain down on them, I'm taking Haku with me so she will test her new power in a real fight" said Naruto

"What kind of power is that?" asked the old man

"Earthquakes control, the dummies were pulverized during the training, I just can't wait to see the effects on a human being **KAA-HAHAHAHAHAR!**" came the insane laugh of the boy, freezing solid the blood of everyone in the room, ANBU comprised. (Naruto's One Piece laugh)

"That's the spirit my boy! Make sure to wear your "special outfit" , you have a reputation to hold...and if you can, my grandson and his team are in Wave for a little trip, can you check if they are okay?" said Hiruzen

"As you wish...Boss!" the boy said jokingly

"Now go my faithful Weapon! Your mission awaits!" Yelled Hiruzen pointing at the door dramatically

"Okay-okay...but Bleach has a cast full of overpowered pussies and you know that!" Naruto said before slamming the door

"NARUTOOOOOOOOO!" the old Hokage yelled furiously, making the boy's insane laugh echoing in the corridors.

"I love _My little pony..._" said one of the ninjas working there

"SHUT UP KUHAKARU!" yelled everyone else

**Border with the land of Wind – Forest -**

"Naruto-kun...you know I love you, right?" asked Haku while the two were tree-jumping

"What have you done?" he asked exasperated

"Nothing serious, just know that I love you with all my heart!" trailed off the girl

"Haku..." the boy's tone was getting dangerously low

"Do you remember Anko?" she asked

"The same Anko that in a drunken stupor proposed to me saying that she loves how I look when covered in blood and smelling of death?" Naruto asked

"That one" she answered

"The same Anko who after that asked to be our guest for just one day and that after three weeks STILL lives with us?" he asked again, his tone getting angrier at every word

"...y-yes?" said Haku now slightly worried

"What happened to THAT Anko?" he asked

"Few weeks ago you asked me to eat one of those fruits...I was about to do it when she stole it from my hands saying she was hungry after her usual hangover so I took the other..." she said getting ready for the explosion...

**Naruto Canon verse – battle against Madara, Obito and the Juubi**

"This is the Final Jutsu!" yelled an ecstatic Naruto as every ninja from every Village showed up to fight.

"You are far too weak for..." started saying Madara

"**FFFFFFUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK KKIIIIIINNNNNGGGG HHHEEEEELLLLL DDDDAAAAMMMMIIIIT!" **an ungodly scream coated in the greatest quantity of killer intent never seen to Man, Biju or God came out of nowhere, disrupting the Juubi's menacing ball, making it explode and killing the two Ninja on its head as well as destroying the Biju's body, leaving a smoking crater in its place.

"..." went Naruto and the ninja army

"..." went Sasuke and Orochimaru from an hill as they were approaching the war-zone

"Did...did we won?" asked Kiba

"...Why that sounded like my voice?" asked Naruto

**Author's Universe – in a sunset-lighted room**

A young man was lying unconscious on the floor as his computer seemingly exploded by itself while he was writing.

"UUUGH!" he whined

**Our story's universe – the forest**

"Haku..." muttered Naruto, his left eye blood-red with a slit-pupil

"Yes, darling?" she tried asking in a sweet tone from behind the miserable rests of a tree, his scream had the surrounding forest to spontaneously catch fire from his rage alone.

"What kind of fruit was that?" he asked

"Some kind of animal-themed one... after eating it she transformed in an huge purple cobra, easily as big as a boss summon, then while turning back she became an Human-Snake hybrid with her human face, an human-like upper body with the waist down still similar to a snake...I asked her to remain living with us...since she likes you and has this powers...it may work between us!" Haku said in a whimper.

"Haku?" he asked again

"Yes?"

"You can easily use a jutsu that makes you move at an almost super-sonic speed and still you had a woman with an hang-over to steal from your hands? A woman I am sure was barely awake and that could walk just because Kami showed her mercy?" he asked, knowing how Anko normally acted after a night spent drinking, a three months old baby fighting like an ANBU in comparison.

"She...she caught me by surprise" tried saying the girl

"She took you by surprise? YOU ARE A KUNOICHI! No problem...Okay! I'm calm now...I'll ask her formally to be my girlfriend so I'll have an excuse to keep an eye on her, luckily she is a beautiful woman that I found attractive and funny to be with" the boy said taking calming breaths

"Actually..." said Haku

"What?" he asked re-entering his **Hellish Rage Mode**

"...You actually had ALREADY proposed to her...I said to her that you were in love with her and that both me and Tenten would have shared you" said Haku finding her feet extremely interesting at the moment

"..." he went silent at that

"I..I know how you look at her and I know you have feelings! What kind of asexual idiot won't!" said Haku

_In Konoha a brooding, raven haired boy sneezed while training for his Revenge._

"It's true that I may have feelings for her, but still you should have asked me before doing something like that" said Naruto

"Come on! You should admit that having us three is the dream of every man!" Haku said trying to cheer up the mood

"This doesn't mean that you and Tenten won't be punished...no cuddling tonight and no after-sex massage for both of you!" said the boy walking away

"WHAT! YOU CAN'T DO THAT! I even bought a new scented oil for tonight!" yelled the outraged Haku

"I can and I will!" said Naruto ending the conversation.

The duo kept bickering until they reached their destination.

**Near the border with the Land of Wind – Bandit camp -**

Ebisu was trying to help a young Konohamaru to wake up after the beating the Man guiding the bandits gave to the boy.

It was during their _unofficial_ team's first little vacation out of Konoha in honour of their entering the last year of the academy, what they didn't expect was what happened while they were moving towards Wave for the little trip the old Hokage accepted to offered to them.

One of the Shinobi that was supposed to escort them killed the others and brought them to a bandit camp where he defected Konoha in favour of his new _Boss._

The great number of foes had an easy time taking them down, the worst was the fact that Moegi, a young girl with orange hair in two vertical tails and a perpetual blush was taken by one of the men saying that she will be _Funny to play with_, Ebisu and Konohamaru tried stopping him but they were savagely beaten once the girl life was at stake.

"It's my fault sensei...I asked to go to Wave" muttered the boy crying

"That's not true Honourable Grandson...It's that shinobi's fault, if he hadn't betrayed Konoha this won't have happened" said Ebisu

Before the Instructor could say more, explosions rocketed the camp, screams of pain and agony clearly audible.

"W-What's happening" asked the other boy Udon

Peeking outside the tent they were in they could see the bloody spectacle of death that was in front of them.

Dead bodies were littering the place as craters and fires were too much to count, in the middle of it stood a figure seemingly out of a ghost story.

Wearing a simple-looking worn-out black Kimono stood a man, or at least they were hoping it was a man.

The grey Haori had so many cuts and burning marks that it seems ready to fall to pieces, a white rope hanging freely at both side probably used to keep it close, the wooden geta making a deep sound at each of _His_ steps.

On his face stood a mask covering the upper-half of his head representing an human skull and covering his hair, a long crack over the left eye looking like a scar, his teeth were like fangs.

On the back of his Haori was the black kanji for _Kami_ with at its three side the words _Doku, Denkou _and _Hikari, _forming a triangle ( they are God, Poison, Lighting and Light respectively)

On the mask's forehead the word _Heiki _(Weapon), sending the presents from Konoha and outside on high alert.

"H-Heiki-san!" said Ebisu trembling

"Haku" the mysterious man muttered at another masked shinobi

Haku was wearing her old Hunter-nin mask, in her arms the unconscious body of Moegi.

"She is fine, fortunately you found her before those man could have done anything horrible" answered the girl

"Find her team and protect them, I'll take care of those weaklings" said the masked Naruto

"As you wish!" answered Haku finally getting in front of Ebisu's tent

"W-Why Heiki-san is here?" the spectacled instructor asked

"Hokage-sama deemed those men worth of his time, now silence and watch! You are gonna witness the sheer destruction the _Human Weapon __of Konoha_ can unleash on his enemies" said Haku.

It took few missions, but the level of destruction the young Namikaze could leave in his wake soon became famous, someone may even say _Legendary_, spreading the rumour that Konoha gained the ability to summon a Demon loyal only to Hiruzen, the news of the boy ruthless manner of fighting and the total number of victim, all of which A-rank and up, making the man know only as _Heiki_ even more feared among the nation.

"Do not fear him! It's only a guy, we can't lose!" roared the Head of the bandits to his men, all of them roaring while charging.

"Idiots, let's hope you all will last longer than the others" said Naruto cracking his neck, his psychotic grin always present on his face.

"WAAAAAH!" came the battle-cry of the bandits

"Victory or defeat can be determined in a single moment's misstep, you know?" Naruto said dodging a sword swipe from a former shinobi of Mist before kicking him in the stomach sending him back.

"KILL HIM!" yelled one of the groups

"Funny..." the boy said disappearing from sight before reappearing few feet away, his leg cocked back

"Have you ever been kicked at the speed of light? It's painful...**Pika-pika no: Kaigan! (enlightenment)**" transforming in an humanoid mass of light Naruto sprinted forward, burning the terrain and seemingly launching the bandits high in the sky, in truth, way faster than any human been could follow, the boy had kicked each and every one of them, making them fly an killing them the moment the extremely hot kick landed on them.

"Take the other! He won't be able to defend himself and the prisoners!" yelled the a man charging Haku

"I'm not defenceless" she said calmly, putting momentarily down Moegi

Punching the air in front of her the air _Cracked_ as if a glass panel was where she hit.

"**Gura-gura no mi: Great shocking wave!**" yelled Haku as the air, the terrain and the very same bandits started appearing distorted, bending irregularly before a blast of an invisible force launched the men back, pulverizing everything on its path as if anything was never there from the beginning and turning the victims into pools of red on the clearing floor.

"MONSTERS! DEMONS!" yelled frantically one of the few survivors as everyone started running away

"You won't go anywhere! **GORO-GORO NO: Megami no**** hidarite! (Left hand of the goddess! **_Just think about Luffy's Gear third punch_**)**" Jumping high and turning into Lightning Naruto inflated his left hand into gigantic proportions, punching where were the rest of the bandits and destroying the whole camp, killing everyone left in an huge column of lighting that blew away even the clouds.

Luckily Haku had the time to evacuate Ebisu and his team before Naruto decided to go Apocalyptic.

"Always exaggerated, you'll never change" joked Haku

"It's not my fault if they can't stand few millions of volts" said Naruto

"A-amazing! Can you teach me that?" asked Konohamaru forgetting pain and bruises.

"For now let's take you and your friends back, then I'll have all the time to say _No_ to you" said Naruto

"Okay...HEY!" yelled enraged the kid

"Ehm...before taking her away...Moegi ate a strange fruit...it was black with white paws on it" said Udon

"Where did she took that?" asked Naruto

"From that Box" said Konohamaru

The box was a simple wooden crate with a red cloth lying on the bottom, old stasis seals were here and there, but so old to have crumbled and lost effect, two spots could be seen, only one occupied by a fruit

"Uugh!" moaned Moegi, strange pads on her hands

"Hey brat, are you okay?" asked Naruto

"Kyaaaah!" yelled the girl clutching to his arm

"It's all okay, they are gone!" said Haku touching the girl's arm

"Don't touch me!" Moegi screamed pushing Haku away...making her fly away several yards inside a paw shaped bubble before crashing on the ground and leaving an equally paw-shaped crater, she came out of the hole, amazingly, unscathed.

"Oookay...I could have guessed Super-Strength, but that paw thing was strange...Moegi, can you please try _Pushing_ the air?" asked Naruto

"Okay!" she said with a cheerful smile moving her hand forward imaging to _push something_

Like a cannon, a paw-shaped ball of compressed air darted forward destroying a tree near her

"YAY! I did It! Did you see that?" Moegi said jumping around

"A-amazing! Can I have the other fruit?" asked Konohamaru

"I don't think it was due to the fruit...the stress of the attack must have awaken a bloodline of sort" lied Naruto, no risk having people fighting for that kind of power.

"She has a bloodline? The problem is that she is an orphan, but maybe there are few documents in my granps office" said Konohamaru.

"Maybe...Moegi your power seem to be the ability to _push_, I wonder if you'll be able to push away even things such as _Pain _or _Fatigue _as well" said Naruto, watching a surprised Haku walking up to them.

"Are you okay Haku?" asked the boy

"I'm fine Naru...AH!" she answered before putting her hands over her mouth in shock.

"Naru...you are Namikaze Naruto?" said Ebisu

"So what?" said the boy taking away his mask

"STAY AWAY HONOURABLE GRANDSON! HE IS A DEM..."yelled Ebisu before Naruto's hand grabbed the man throat, almost crushing it

"Listen...What is this?" Naruto asked holding a kunai

"A...a kunai"

"And this?" he asked again, this time holding a scroll with a seal on it

"A sealing scroll with _Weapons_ written on it" answered the man

"DOES THIS MEANS THIS SCROLL IS A WEAPON?" yelled the boy.

"NO OF COURSE NOT!...It...is just...oh God" yelled Ebisu before realization rained on him, his eyes wide

"CONGRATULATIONS! You just used that wonderful thing called your _Brain_! Now tell me what you learned today" Naruto asked grinning

"You...Contain _That_...you are not its reincarnation?" Ebisu said slowly

"Even if I'm happy for your epiphany, I won't trust you so you all remember this: tell someone that I am _Heiki_ and I'll kill you all...and I will make sure it will look like an accident" said Naruto

"Y-You wouldn't dare!" said a trembling Ebisu

"I'll only spare Konohamaru since Jiji would be sad at his death, but do not provoke me" he answered

"NARU-CHAN IS RIGHT! If he has a secret then Moegi won't talk!" the girl said jumping on the boy's back

"Wh-what? Moegi...please come down of Namikaze-san!" said Ebisu

"I don't wanna! Moegi has to stay with Naru-chan, Naru-chan is strong and will protect her no matter what!" whined the girl clutching Naruto's back

"So you are not afraid of me?" the boy asked

As for answer him, Moegi kissed his cheek taking away the few drops of blood that managed to reach under the mask, all with a playful smile on her face.

"Naaaaruuu-chan!" she said nuzzling on his neck

"Looks like you found a mascot" joked Haku

"Let's just go back" said the boy taking the fruit box under his arm, Moegi never leaving his back

"Why did you take the box?" asked Udon with Konohamaru nodding

"I'm hungry" lied Naruto

"Oh! Okay!" answered the boys

**Konoha – Hokage office -**

"Good Lord Kami!, Luckily I sent you there, who knows what could have happened otherwise" said Hiruzen while keeping Konohamaru sitting on his knees

"Yeah-yeah...hey listen, I know I will kick my own ass later for this, but I need to take Moegi with me as an apprentice" said Naruto

"What? Why?" asked the old Hokage

"She was almost raped when I saved her, the shock had her mind to almost crack and now she clutched to me as a life-line and she had unlocked certain _Powers..._" answered Naruto, luckily no-one catching the tone on "powers" except the Hokage.

"Really? Well I guess you are the only one good enough for that...request accepted!" said Hiruzen

"W-why Hokage-sama?, I'm not saying that Namikaze-san is a demon, but why him? He is just a gennin!" said Ebisu flinching under the glare Naruto sent him

"Who else can withstand Explosions, cuts, blunt assaults and whatnot by turning into a mass of Poison,Light particles and/or pure Lightning and back?" asked the boy

"If you put it like that...I guess you are right Namikaze-san, only you can train her without risking being squashed" admitted the instructor

"But what about my Team, grandpa?" asked Konohamaru

"I have Hiashi breathing on my neck to give Hanabi a good team, her grades and preparation are pretty high...I can always add her to your team, but you'll have to wait a little longer before taking missions since Hanabi won't be joining you until few weeks after the exams, Hiashi wishes to gave her personal training apparently" said Hiruzen

"We can use that time for training, contrary to Hanabi-san, Udon and the Honorable Grandson couldn't be helped by you Hokage-sama nor Asuma-san" said Ebisu

"I'll help you now instead, don't worry...I'll just skip paperwork for once, most of it is legal crap and requests from the civilian council for more power over the village" said Hiruzen

"Good! Once Haku bring here Moegi we will inform her" said Naruto as both girls came crushing into the office

"Sorry the ruckus, but Moegi-chan wanted to see you as soon as possible" said Haku

Moegi was sporting a purple mini-skirt and a purple sleeveless jacket with white shirt, but the most prominent details were the fake cat ears on her head and the tail on his back both red in colour.

"What's with the ears?" asked Naruto

"Since she has paws like a cat she asked for them...she can move them using chakra, we took everything in a Toy shop...apparently by wearing gloves she can stop using her powers" answered Haku as Moegi was moving her tail around.

"I'm Naru-chan's Kitty, Nya!" she answered moving her gloved hands, gloves made to look like a cat's paw

"I have a week to train you before we have to take the exam, you are my apprentice now" said Naruto

"No...Naruto you can't take her with you during the exam finals even if our laws didn't prohibit it...it's too dangerous" calmly said Hiruzen

"Moegi, can you please use that air trick?" Naruto asked simply, the girl nodded taking away her gloves.

"HAI! **Neko Ho! (cat cannon)**" Moegi said trusting her hand forward, an huge hole opening in the wall in the shape of a paw

"She needs some finesse, but her power is relatively simple: She _Push Things_, It will be easy to explore few possibilities enough to have her at a good level, the rest I'll tech her after the exams" said Naruto

"Isn't it unfair for him to fight with her?" asked Udon

"Kiba fights with Akamaru as support, she will do the same or, as during the finals, simply staying in the arena watching as I fight" answered Naruto

"I'll be good, Nya!" said Moegi smiling

"Good, Haku please accompany Moegi at her new home, as for you Ebisu, you all are dismissed, I'll see you tomorrow as we need to decide a training schedule, Naruto please stay here a moment" said Hiruzen

"Hai Hokage-sama!" said the group leaving

"Here is the other fruit, keep it under tight security, Kami knows what will happen if someone manage to take it" said Naruto giving the box to Hiruzen

"Don't worry...I have asked you to stay for a reason, after the exam I'll take you away from Team 7 and have Sai taking your place, so Sasuke will be under surveillance and you free to move without a team" said Hiruzen

"Good, anything else?" asked the boy

"Yes, I asked the Daimyo few information about the fruits saying that in a mission you casually destroyed six of them believing they were somehow dangerous since they were heavily guarded"

"Yeah...Anko ate the last one, now I have to take her with me and apparently my two women decided on their own accord to add her to the family" said Naruto collapsing on the couch

"Lucky bastard...more importantly they sent me an answer..." said Hiruzen

"So?"

"Apparently there used to exist fruits coming from a forgotten time in the past holders of incredible powers...after a war the plants producing it went destroyed and the Daimyos of the time made sure that those plants never returns that's why you can see specialists going around every day checking for new species of plants, It's not because our dear Leaders had a green thumb" said Hiruzen

"Soo, how many fruits are out there?" asked Naruto

"Just eight, the Daymios are looking for these since the plant's destruction, it means that this is the last one" answered Hiruzen (A/N really, I won't add another)

"Shouldn't we send it to our Daimyo?" asked Naruto

"Tomorrow a man from the Capital will come here to take it away" answered Hiruzen

"Okay, now sorry, but I have an apprentice to train" Naruto said before leaving

"Just don't be too hard on your adversary, we are not in war" said Hiruzen at the retreating boy

"...I'll try, maybe" he answered laughing madly.

**Konoha – day of the finals -**

Moegi's Training passed smoothly as her Paw-paw fruit was as easy as it was powerful, by pushing air the girl could move extremely fast and her **Neko oh **technique could be used both as a singular attack and as a barrage of continuous hits, but what was really loved by the Blond Weapon was a huge version of the **Neko oh,** she called it **Tora Shock (Tiger shock).**

With that Moegi can create a ball of compressed air as big as a two story building before starting compressing it, once the bubble is compact enough to fit within her hands she release the compressed air and send it toward her opponent, decompressing it would cause a massive explosion in the form of a bear paw.

It takes one to two minutes to be ready, but once it explode you can be damn sure that everything in the blast radius IS dead.

Now both Weapon and girl were in the middle of the arena, Temari was glaring at them.

"What's wrong? Did you are so scared of fighting me that you bought a girl with you to hide behind?" taunted Temari

Her answer was a **Neko oh** that passed near her head and demolished part of the wall

"No-one bad-mouth Naru-chan, Nya!" said angrily Moegi, her tail moving erratically behind her.

Before the finals Tenten gave the little girl a new pair of ears and a tail made in a very strong metal able to conduct chakra as well as a new pair of reinforced gloves so that they wouldn't end up destroyed too easily. (_A/N even if looking like a cat paws the gloves had still five fingers, so s__he can use jutsus_)

"Moegi, this is my fight! Stay in that corner and don't interfere in any way!" ordered Naruto

"As you wish Naru-chan! Hey pony-tail! Naru-chan loves good fights so you better gave him a funny one or Moegi will make you pay, Nya!" the girl yelled before sitting in the far side of the arena.

"Are you two ready?" Asked Genma Shiranui, the proctor

"Hai!" said Temari

"Just start already!" yelled Naruto

"HAJIME!" yelled Genma jumping away

"Take this! **Fuuton:****Hyaku arashi no mai****! **(Wind release: dance of the hundred whirlwinds)" with a swing of her fan Temari summoned numerous human-sized whirlwinds launching them against the blond boy

"That's all? FIGHT SERIOUSLY!" yelled Naruto transforming his arm into light he then shaped into a blade, running towards Temari THROUGH the several whirlwinds

"IS HE CRAZY!?" Sakura could be heard yelling from the seats

"Pretty much...but it's part of his charme" said Tenten smiling

"I think it's over" said Temari

"OVER? IT'S JUST THE BEGINNING!" came the voice of Naruto as the the whirlwinds went dispersed by the now shirtless boy, laughing madly

"What the Hell! Okay! I'll be serious then! **FUUTON: Sen arashi no mai!** (dance of the thousand whirlwinds)" moving the fan with huge movements she summoned a storm of little whirlwinds towards the boy

"The same jutsu, but with more wind? PATHETIC! **Pika-Pika no:Sekai o setsudan! **(cutting the world)" with an horizontal slash of the blade of light, Naruto created a wave of energy that destroyed the wind jutsu and almost pulverized Temari, forcing the girl to act a **Kawarimi** with one of the trees destroyed by her previous attack.

"Not bad! But still not enough!" said the smiling boy

"I-I wanted to use this just in case of emergency, but you leave me no choice! **Kuchiyose: Kirikiri Mai!** (Summoning: Quick Beheading Dance)" said Temari biting one of her fingers and wiping blood on her giant fan summoning a one-eyed sickle-holding weasel.

With a powerful swing of her weapon she created a tempest and making her summon ride the wind, slashing through everything on its course.

"THAT'S A GOOD TECHNIQUE...useless, but still a good one" said Naruto, opening his arms wide as to welcome the deadly attack

"YOU BETTER DODGE! YOU'LL DIE!" yelled Genma

"I don't think so" simply answered the boy disappearing in a cracking of electricity and reappearing behind Temari

"I'll be gentle" he then said

"W-what?" came the answer of the terrorized girl

"**Goro-goro no: 200 volts-VARI!**" grabbing the girl's back Naruto sent a powerful electric attack through her body, her screams surpassing every other noise in the arena before collapsing.

Genma rushed to check on the heavily burned girl, the arena watching silently the scene.

"She is alive, even if barely, Namikaze Naruto is the winner!" yelled Genma making the audience take a breath of relief.

"You were amazing Naru-chan!" screamed Moegi laughing and jumping around the boy before latching to his arm

"I know" he said returning to his place in the stands.

**Kage section**

"Impressive, the boy sure knows how to fight" said the Kazekage

"He was well trained" answered Hiruzen

"But, correct me if I am wrong, I didn't saw him use hand-seals" said Mei Terumi, the new Mizukage

"He has no need of them, the reason is a secret, I'm sorry" answered Sarutobi.

**Competitors Section**

"You overdid, again" said Haku smiling at him

"So what? It was funny!" Naruto said laughing

"Can you put a shirt on? It's hard to not stare at you" said Tenten

"Ok-ok, but It's not like I'm showing something you two don't know already" the boy said unsealing a spare shirt

"Wait! You mean you three have already..." said Ino letting the question hanging

"Answer my question Ino: Have you ever been fucked by a man's penis going in and out at the speed of light?" asked Naruto smirking

"Is...is that...true?" asked a disbelieving Ino, several women watching the trio as well.

"Oooh! Kukukuku!" cackled Tenten while Haku just kept drooling with a far-away look in her eyes

"Naru-kun?...did I never told you how much I love blond men?" Ino said sultry

"Stay Back! HE IS MINE!" yelled Tenten hugging the boy possessively while hissing.

While the dirty talk was taking place a poor Sasuke was grabbed by Gaara's sand, the tendrils then used the boy as a flail, crushing him against wall and floor making blood and teeth fly everywhere, before undressing him, showing the rather poorly _Equipment_ and launching him out of the arena and in the middle of the stands were a rabid Sakura almost raped him on the spot before being rendered unconscious by a merciful Shikamaru hitting her at the base of her neck.

The scene had the whole stadium's attention, so much that the sleeping Genjutsu almost wasn't casted.

"Uhm! Genjutsu? Aah! We are being invaded...nothing serious, Moegi take off the gloves, we have some rats to kill" said Naruto

"HAI! Whatever Naru-chan wants, Moegi will do!" the girl said jumping on Naruto's back.

An explosion from the Kages seats alerted the boy.

"Haku! Help Jiji! I don't care how but save him" said the blond

"Don't worry, darling, trust me!" answered Haku

"I always trust you" smirked the boy jumping down the railing to fight

"I'll help the others" said Tenten morphing her hands into two jagged blades and joining the fights

"Naruto! Sasuke is out of commission by now! Help him!" ordered Kakashi

"ARE YOU CRAZY!? We are in the middle of an invasion! I can't waste time helping him just because your friend died and you feel guilty!" yelled enraged Naruto using a lightning covered fist to behead a Sound Shinobi

"I'm your superior and you will obey! Help Sasuke!" yelled Kakashi getting a punch from the boy that nearly cracked his jaw

"Didn't you know the latest news? I take orders directly from Sarutobi-jiji and starting from now I'm out of Team 7...I am my own captain now! and as such I order myself to stop that Gaara since Kurama is saying that he holds a Biju that by now is trying to get out!" explained the boy before starting the chase, Moegi following behind him.

**Purple Barrier **

The Kazekage watching the finals revealed himself as the traitorous Sannin Orochimaru, his revenge plan already in motion as he and his old Sensei Hiruzen were trapped inside a special barrier while the two armies of Sound and Suna were invading Konoha.

"Ufufufufu! Did you see sensei? Konoha will fall and you can't do nothing to stop me" said Orochimaru staring at the fights on the streets of the village

"You know Orochi? If things weren't like they are now, I admit that I would have been worried" Sarutobi said smiling and pointing at a lonely figure out of the barrier

"That girl? Is she the one you are talking about?" asked Orochimaru before letting out a mad laugh

"_That Girl_ has enough power in her hands to brake the world in two" the smile on Hiruzen face became feral

"What? Are you getting senile?" Hissed the Sannin

"Maybe that too...but for now, HAKU! Can you please remove that barrier? I'll appreciate some help here!" ordered Hiruzen

"HAI HOKAGE-SAMA!" yelled the girl focusing energy on her fist, a white aura surrounding it

"HA!" she yelled punching the barrier, ripples appearing over it as the chakra forming the defense started moving erratically

"KI-YAA!" she yelled again releasing the energy, for an instant nothing happened, then one after another, several cracks started surfacing.

With a final, tremendous series of ripples a whole side of the barrier exploded in shards, making the rest of the jutsu collapse and letting the ANBU to join the fight

"IMPOSSIBLE!" yelled one of the four ninja keeping the barrier on, the four were easily dispatched thanks to the jutsu having consumed most of their energy...that and they spontaneously surrender after Haku made one of them explode in a shower of blood, Jirobo they called him, thanks to an earthquake the girl summoned inside the boy's heart after a punch of hers.

"Okay! I give up! You fuckers have won, just keep her away from me!" yelled the red haired girl of the group while being arrested.

"Damn you Sensei! Who are those people!" yelled enraged Orochimaru while dodging multiple attacks from ANBU and Hokage

"They are the heirs of the Will of Fire!" said Sarutobi summoning Enma in his staff form.

**Konoha – streets – area near the outer wall**

While Sarutobi was facing his ex-student the wall protecting the village was being demolished by a giant three-headed snake.

"Don't worry people of Konoha, because the Great Jiraiya is here!" came the dramatic presentation of the Toad sage from the head of an huge Toad.

"**Come on! let's play, little worm!**" came a distorted, almost demonic, female voice

"What the fuck is that!" yelled Jiraya pointing at the source of the voice

"Anko? What the hell happened to you?" asked Ibiki

"**Do you like? Tell me the truth, do I look fat?**" asked the snake mistress, now an huge Purple Cobra snake-lady as big as the enemy snake summon.

(Try picture a purple Sundersonia with Anko's hairstyle)

"You are bigger for sure, now stop playing around and crush that thing!" yelled Ibiki

"**Roger! Come here baby, Let's dance!**" said Anko jumping on the three-headed beast

"Stop staring and fight back the enemy, you idiots!" ordered Ibiki diverting the others from watching the fight between the two giant snakes.

**Konoha – Other side of town**

"**Buki-buki no mi: Riffle girl!**" Yelled Tenten, going on all four she formed on her back part of a riffle, starting shooting at the enemies in the distance

"You are dead Konoha filth!" yelled a Sound nin behind her

"**Buki-buki no mi: Cutting legs!**" using her arms Tenten lifted her body up while transforming her legs in a pair of blades, spinning on herself she shredded the poor man, reducing him into a mass of bleeding flesh.

"I have plenty of time, who's next?" said the bun-haired girl still standing on her bladed legs

"Monster!" yelled a Suna Kunoichi

"Monster? No, I'm an Human Armory!" yelled Tenten before charging the group

**Forest of Konoha – Naruto Vs Gaara**

While the village was under attack Naruto started following Gaara and Kankuoru, the painted boy holding the fainted Temari on his back.

Faster than anyone could react the Suna Jinchuuriki had attacked the puppet user in his blood rage, his body covered in sand showing that his transformation was almost done.

"H-Help him...please" pleaded Kankorou

"I'll have the Pervert control Gaara's seal, but first I'll have to kick his ass" said Naruto grinning savagely

"MOEGI WILL HELP!" the girl said jumping on the spot

"If he start summoning the demon you have to use the **Tora shock**" ordered Naruto

"But...what if Naru-chan get hit as well?" she asked lowering her ears

"Do you think that lovely peck can stop me? I even showed that to you by making you it me with that...And it was Awesome!" the boy answered laughing

"Then Moegi will start charging right away!" Moegi said before planting her feet on the ground and opening her arms wide, a paw-shaped bubble of compressed air started forming

"What-What are you doing?" asked Kankurou in a faint voice

"Moegi will use the awesome attack Naru-chan created for her, Make-up boy" answered the girl

"It's...war...paint" answered Kankurou angrily before fainting for his wounds.

**Naruto Vs Gaara**

"Come on! Show me your best! I'm waiting!" yelled the grinning blond

"**You will prove my existence!**" answered Gaara, his half-demonic face drooling

"**Doku-Doku no: sulfuric ball!**" yelled Naruto spitting several bluish ball of Poison

"**Too slow!**" answered Gaara dodging the attack and countering with a volley sand-shuriken

"You sure?" taunted the boy as the attack phased through his body, making the boy explode in light particles

"**W-What?**" said Gaara as his vision was getting blurred, the puddle of poison had started emanating a fine purple mist, saturating the area of a paralyzing toxin.

"It's my special brand: if it hit you get _digested_ into nothingness, but if it miss the whole mixture started decaying in a paralyzing gas" said the disembodied voice of the blond

"**Come out an face me!**" yelled the demonic Gaara jumping high on a branch to avoid the gas

"As you wish! **Goro-goro no:Raijin!" **he yelled trusting his hand forward, shooting the stream of condensed lighting towards the Suna boy

Gaara countered by summoning a tidal wave of sand created by destroying rocks and trees on the attack wake, making it bigger as it was going on.

The two techniques collided fiercely before Naruto's attack totally obliterated the sand and an huge portion of the forest.

"**That's It! MOTHER WILL KILL YOU!**" yelled enraged Gaara forming an huge body of sand resembling a giant Racoon before flying through hand-seals "**Playing Possum**" he muttered falling asleep

"**I'M FREE FINALLY!**" yelled the demonic voice of the now _free_ Shukaku

"Oh really? HELL YEAH! Finally a serious fight! **Doku-Doku no: KYUUBI NO YOKO!**" yelled Naruto summoning the greatest quantity of poison he could create, turning his body crimson-red.

The huge mass of poison then shifted in that of a nine-tailed fox easily reaching Shukaku's height, roaring at the Biju the _Fox_ released a cloud of poison that started turning the sand black making it collapse.

"_Do you like it? It's my most powerful poison just for you! ENJOY IT PLENTLY!_" yelled Naruto, his body could be seen in transparency inside the fox head, his voice distorted as it came out from the _Fox_ mouth.

(_The __**Venom Demon**__ Magellan used_)

"**I'm not scared of you! Renkūdan!**" yelled Shukaku launching a bullet of wind to the boy, the jutsu opened an hole in the fox that was immediately closed by the surrounding poison.

"_Physical attacks don't work on me! COME ON! GIVE ME AN HUG BIG BOY!_" yelled Naruto grabbing the Biju, the sand body started sizzling upon contact

"**GRAAAH! LET GO OFF ME!**" yelled Shukaku finally getting free, his boy almost destroyed

"_This is getting boring Shukaku! I HATE BORING FIGHTS! __**Venom cloud!**__"_yelled enraged the Blond blowing out a thick cloud of poison before flying through hand-seals

"**Katon: Endan!**" Naruto yelled spitting out a stream of fire, even if Fire wasn't his element it had the effect it wanted since the purple cloud he launched towards Shukaku blew up spectacularly in an huge flare, launching the sand giant back.

"**DAMN YOU!**" Shukaku hissed before eight of the nine tails wrapped around him blocking his movements, the ninth pointing at Gaara

"_MOEGI! NOW!_" Naruto yelled at his partner

"ROGER NARU-CHAN!...**Nikyu-Nikyu no mi: Tora Shock!**" yelled Moegi launching her attack

"_**Poison Sprint!**_" yelled Naruto at the same time sprinting through the Fox tail and shooting himself to Gaara grabbing him as Moegi attack collided with Shukaku. (Just like** venom road**)

It was an instant, as the Poison-made Fox exploded into gas, the paw of compressed air exploded engulfing a large area, disintegrating Shukaku and propelling both Naruto and Gaara up in the sky, the blond's body protecting the Suna boy from harm.

"...Naru-chan?" Moegi asked worriedly

A column of light came down from the sky, spitting out Gaara an reforming into Naruto

"That was an hell of a trip" said the blond before a crying Moegi tackled him

"MOEGI WAS SO SCARED" yelled the girl crying on the boy's torso

"Why? You didn't even scratched me" he said with a toothy grin

"Now come! We need to take both to the Hokage, can you walk red head?" he asked Gaara

"Y-yes" he muttered following him, not intended to bring on him the rage of that blond that scared _Mother_ into silence.

The invasion ended with the victory of Konoha, an heavily sealed Orochimaru escorted in jail with two stomps where his arms used to be and a sealed mask on his mouth to keep him from _spitting out_ a new body, for the next few days he will be used as test subject to finally remove the cursed seal, for the joy of Anko and the Sound four, but for the absolute Ire of Sasuke at losing that source of power.

(He won't go out or even try to, I will need him in the future, but not in the way you all are probably thinking EXPECIALLY with Sasuke, trust me, I have a surprise in mind ^ ^)

**Omake**

**Two birds in a cell**

"I have to admit that it's not so bad here" said Kabuto to himself

"Sure they had the Hyuuga clan sealing away my chakra beyond every chance of recovery, condemning me at a life of a civilian, but here the food his better than Sound and Orochimaru-sama isn't here harassing me" he then said smiling

"Kabuto! Your new cell-mate is here!" said one of the wardens

"I wonder who he or she is" he said while changing for the laundry day, once his shirt was covering his eyes he heard his companion's voice...and his blood run cold

"Kukuku! I'm here not even for five minutes and you already took of your shirt Kabuto-kun? I'm moved! Kukukuku!" came the sultry laugh and voice of a certain Sannin

"OH Kami!...please not him!" he hissed lowly while still covering his eyes

"What's wrong? I thought that night was special for you too...you seemed to enjoy it" Orochimaru said again coming closer

"You were drunk Orochimaru-sama and so was I" tried saying Kabuto

"Was I really drunk? Are you sure? Right now I have an _Itch_ that must be scratched" the snake Sannin said

"NOOOOOOO!" yelled Kabuto as his former master came closer, even without arms and chakra he was too much for him.

**Lemon Start**

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**AH! I have you! You really thought that I was gonna write something so horrible? No-no-no-no! I'm not that sick.**

**By now you all are thinking at those two having sex...Have fun**

**About Naruto's **_**Heiki**_** outfit, I didn't chose the colour black and the skull mask just because **_**It's cool**_**, but rather for a psychological effect, what is more threatening than a mysterious figure wearing a worn-out black dress with a scary mask hiding his face, with wooden shoes **_**Clacking**_** ominously at every step and showing **_**Itself**_** able to cast lightings at will without hand-seals? At least that was my intention.**

**As for Moegi, I exaggerated few aspects of Yachiru and given Moegi a more childish character to create a partner for Naruto that was at the complete opposite of the spectrum, even if some of you may say that she is more powerful than him , I'll tell you right now that she has the most total and complete loyalty towards Naruto, the only way for her to go against him could be for someone to completely erase her mind and plant a new one in its place.**

**Even then, Naruto trained her, He KNOWS the limits of her powers and he is crazy/skilled enough to use that at his advantage.**

**By the way, I have few problems at work so the updates **_**MAY**_** take a little longer, but I'm not sure, by now I don't know what else to say about this chapter, if you have some doubts send me a Pm and I'll gladly answer to you and even clarify few things by correcting the chapter itself ^^**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here is the Third Chapter, Please enjoy ^^**

**Another Information, a fellow author, and personal friend of mine, named **_TheRealMcLovin_ **has recently published a new Fanfiction called "**_**To become Legendary**_**" a really good crossover of Naruto/Full Metal Alchemist/ Rosario Vampire/DmC that is just waiting you to read and Review (and we Authors REALLY enjoy reviews ^ ^) his other stories are: "**_**The **__**Titan Devil**_**" (Devil May Cry/ Teen Titans Crossover) and " **_**Guardian Devil**_**" (Devil May Cry/ Percy Jackson crossover) they are good fanfictions, give them a try, you may find them really enjoyable ^ ^. And he his quite a funny guy himself if I have to say.**

**Pairing : Naru/Ten/femHaku/Anko**

**Settings: Dark!Naruto - Good!Danzo – Powerful!Naruto – Bashing here and there – Few OOC moments if I need them...and maybe few Pervy!Konoha moments. **

**Fruits used:**

**Naruto:**

**Doku Doku no mi : venom venom fruit (Last User-Magellan)**

**Pika Pika no mi : light light fruit (L.U-Kizaru)**

**Goro Goro no mi : Rumble rumble fruit (L.U-Enel)**

**Others:**

**Buki-buki no mi: arms-arms fruit ( L.U baby 5) given to ****Tenten**** with the variation of being**

**Buki-Buki no mi, model ****Ekitai kinzoku**** ( model liquid metal)**

**Gura Gura no mi : tremor tremor fruit (L.U-whitebeard) given to ****Haku**

**Hebi Hebi no mi model cobra : given to ****Anko**

**Nikyu Nikyu no Mi: Paw-paw fruit (L.U Kuma Bartholomew) given to ****Moegi****.**

**Moegi will act with Naruto similar as how Yachiru acted with Zaraki. ****PLEASE**** tell me if you wish to add her to the blond's Girl list or just leave her that way.**

" **You bastard"** - demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, One Piece or whatever I use or I will use**

**Chapter 3: A big Tittied new Hokage**

**Konoha – Hokage Office **

"By now Gaara and his siblings are under our custody, I have to say that I am surprised that you managed to fight on par with a Biju" Hiruzen said smiling, few rings of smoke escaping from his pipe.

"Needless to say, the civilians were pushing for using you as a breeding stock" Commented Danzo

"Some free sex with a lot of hot Babes? Sounds interesting, but I don't think that Haku and the others may like that idea" Naruto answered grinning, Moegi sleeping on his nap.

"What about the girl?" the bandaged elder asked

"Inoichi said that she is somehow stable, but her mind seem to be focused on obeying Naruto's every whim, changing that could be dangerous" answered the old Hokage

"As long as she can have a normal life I don't mind, at least she is not a whining brat" the blond said

"Talking about the breeding program, you don't have to worry since I stopped every attempt to force it upon you, we can't risk having our trump card to be too tired" Joked Danzo

"My powers have their down-sides too you know?" Naruto answered

"Really? What are those?" Danzo asked

"Sorry, but that's a secret between _Weapon _and _Master_" Hiruzen said smirking

"Umpf! Always ready to rub on my face that he is YOUR weapon...Hypocrite bastard" Muttered Danzo pouting.

"I can only said that the venom manipulating one gives me a REALLY strong Diarrhoea, the more I use that the worst it gets...now try thinking what happened _After_ I fought against a Biju" the blond said

"Oh dear! The mental image! AAARGH" yelled disgusted Danzo

"Luckily I sent our best team on a A-rank mission in the forest" Hiruzen said smiling deviously

"Which Team?" Naruto asked

"Team 7...but I may have forgot to tell them the details about their mission about _Cleaning_ the forest after your fight" Sarutobi said casually.

After a moment of silence a disgusted scream was heard from the outside forest.

"OH GOD IT'S EVERYWHERE!" came the scream of Sakura.

"Unfortunately Sai couldn't take part to this mission or he could have suggested them to bring some gloves or any other kind of _protection_...my bad, I guess they will be forced to do it by hand" Danzo said between fits of laughter.

"That will teach to that masked idiot to play favourite!" Naruto said in glee.

**Konoha – outside forest – warning, may contain disgusting images ( I bet no-one will get from where I took this scene ^^ if instead you KNOW from where this came, I suggest you to use it as a **_**soundtrack**_** to play while reading)**

"This is what Hokage-sama intended with _cleansing the forest from danger_? I thought we were supposed to dismantle a bandit camp!" Kakashi said disgusted.

"I...I'm gonna sit down a little...I'm not feeling good right now" Sakura said with a green face

"What...what kind of monster could have done something like that? It's inhuman!" Sasuke said covering his mouth with an hand.

Everywhere, on the trees, on the forest floor, even over few poor little animals, every single centimetre of the forest was covered in poop, some of it was dripping slowly from the trees with a sickening _Splurt _noise, the air was saturated with the terrible stench of human feces.

"I...I can't do this! No-one should be forced to clean this!" Sasuke said leaning to a tree, before jumping away to dodge an huge brown mass that tried to fall on his head.

"We...we accepted this mission, it would be an hard hit to our pride as shinobi if we turn back, even if it's disgusting" Said Kakashi watching a squirrel desperately trying to get rid of the smelly goo he had on his fur, few bids were instead falling from the sky unconscious, even up there the shitty hell was making damages.

"B-Better start right away before some genetic mutations start surfacing from this mess" Kakashi said stealing his resolve.

It was then that the worst happened, from the middle of the clearing, on the biggest pile of feces they have ever seen two eyes opened glaring at them.

"T-The poop is watching us sensei!" Sakura said fearfully

"WHAT!? **KAI!**" Kakashi tried saying to dispel what he believed was a Genjutsu

"Ahem-hem. Mi mi mi mi miiiii..." as if nothing happened the mountain of poop grew a pair of arms before opening _his_ mouth to clear his throat, vaguely golden-yellow teeth shining in the sun.

"It-It's not a Genjutsu! It's really alive!" Sasuke said getting paler

"It must be such a foul poop that it came to life...it's like an huge middle finger to Mother Nature!" Kakashi said disbelievingly

"What we gonna do sensei?" Sakura asked before the Masked Jounin pushed her forward

"Try to talk to it, see if you can convince it to go away" Kakashi said pushing her again

"WHAT!? O-Ok, I'll try...H-Hello! My-My name is Sakura...w-who are you?" the pink girl asked

Fixing his gaze on her the mountain of shit began to sing.

_I am the Great Mighty Poo  
and I'm going to throw my shit at you.  
A huge supply of tish comes from my chocolate starfish.  
How about some scat, you little twat? _

"HOLY SHIT IT'S SINGING! **Futon: Renkudan! (drilling air bullet)**" Kakashi yelled shooting a compressed air of bullet to the Giant Living Shit, making an hole oh his chest that the creature healed collecting a fistful of poop from around him to close it.

Getting faster it started to sing again.

_Do you really think you'll survive in here?  
You don't seem to know which creek you're in.  
Sweet corn is the only thing that makes it through my rear.  
How d'you think I keep this lovely grin?  
(Have some more caviar!) _

Singing that, the monstrous Poop started throwing balls of feces to the group and laughing darkly as the screaming trio tried to dodge the awfully smelling attack.

"DIE YOU ABOMINATION! **Katon: ****Gōkakyū no Jutsu (Great Fireball technique)**" Sasuke yelled spitting an huge Fireball to the creature incinerating one of its arms.

By the way it was narrowing it eyes watching them it was clear that the creature was pissed at Team 7, singing even faster he kept glaring at them.

_Now I'm really getting rather mad.  
You're like a niggly tiggly shitty little tag-nut.  
When I knock you out with all my bab,  
I'm going to take your head and ram it up my butt!  
Sakura: Your butt?  
Great Mighty Poo: My butt!  
Sasuke: Your butt?!  
Great Mighty Poo: That's right, my butt!  
Kakashi: Err ...!  
Great Mighty Poo: My butt!  
__Team 7: Agh!  
__Great Mighty Poo: My Buuuuuuuuutt! _

"RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE LIVES!" Yelled Kakashi as he and the two kids bolted out of the forest screaming like mad.

At the end of the day it took three full-armed ANBU squads to get rid of that monster and its smelly _kingdom_.

All the while Hiruzen, Naruto and Danzo were laughing their ass off watching the scene from the crystal ball.

"Oh my! I need Inoichi to record this memory on a scroll, I'll use that whenever I'm depressed, that's too funny! Hahahaha!" Danzo said laughing.

"We-we have to show this to the civilian council...their _precious_ Uchiha scared by some shit!" Naruto said barely able to talk

"Approved, especially since Sakuno's daughter was the one talking with it" Sarutobi said with watering eyes.

"...Which one of the two was Sakura? I couldn't distinguish the one from the other" Naruto asked seriously

"...HAHAHAHAHAHA!" after a brief silence the trio started laughing again.

Due to the traumatic scene poor kids and instructor could be seen entering the bathroom with a kunai in their hands, scared that their feces too may start singing, it will take two months to Inoichi to help them to snap out of it, just because for the first month he will not stop laughing during every therapy session.

On a bright note the song was quite an hit in the shinobi forces as from Chuunin to ANBU apparently everyone could be found singing it (clan heads comprised, Hiashi discovered to be a good soprano thanks to it).

**Konoha Prison – Orochimaru and Kabuto's **_**Love nest**_** ( feel free to puke, I'm doing it myself)**

"Orochi-kun! Long time no see! I have few questions I need you to answer!" Naruto said leaning to the bars of the Snake's cell.

"What kind of questions? And why should I help you?" Orochimaru asked

Signalling to a guard that he wanted to speak privately the boy waited until they were alone, using the demon chakra he masked their discussion.

"I was asked to bring back Tsunade Senju, what can you tell me about the old hag? I only know that a certain blond idiot that sired me asked her to be my Godmother and that she never actually come even NEAR the village" Naruto whispered in a cold tone

"Ufufufu! Yeah, Minato was a genius in fighting and a really good seal master but a complete dumb-ass in everything else...but why should I help you? You still has to tell me" Orochimaru whispered back, his slitted eyes fixing on Natruto's cerulean one.

"What about...a Sharingan eye?" Naruto said chuckling darkly at the wide-eyed expression of the Sannin.

"Are you serious? Why promising me that?"

"I hate the boy, always getting everything and getting away with whatever he does in virtue of his lineage, I have few plans for him that doesn't require him keeping his eyes, I don't care what Jiji or anyone else may said, he had an hand in fucking up my life and he will pay" Naruto hissed out angrily.

"Do you know that it was an Uchiha to use the Kyuubi against the village the night Minato died?" Orochimaru asked

"Yes, but unfortunately I have no proofs of that, I _may_ admit that they do have a strong bloodline, but they need to learn to be humble" Naruto answered

"That's also true...Listen well, I used to work for an organization called Akatsuki, Itachi Uchiha is one of them, but the what they don't know is that not only I KNOW that Sasori of the Red Sands, one of the other members, is betraying me as a spy, but that their precious Zetsu is as well my spy, but pretty royal only to me, he should be able to give you the proof you are looking for" Orochimaru said proudly

"And how is Itachi being there is supposed to help me?" Naruto asked getting near the bars

"Itachi has a fully matured Mangekyou Sharingan and it seems that a certain _Tobi_, or should I say Obito, has one as well...Itachi may work well as a spare Uchiha while the less interesting little brother is used for your plans, if only the boy's eyes were fully matured, you could have given them to Itachi and Itachi's to me" The Sannin said

"You just need the copy abilities, Sasuke's eyes will suffice, as for Obito, I know that Kakashi as one of his eyes and since I'm still a sentimental type of guy I won't gouge it out from the scarecrow, but the other one will be a good addiction to my collection, I just have another eye to substitute with some hax" Naruto said grinning

"I can accept that, Tsunade is famous for being an horrible gambler with the world's worst luck and a poor drinker, what no-one knows is that she has Hemophobia as well" Orochimaru said sitting down.

"The fear of the Emos?" Naruto asked

"It's fear of blood, she panic and tends to go into shock seeing it" Orochimaru explained with a sweat-drop

"Ah! Okay! Anything else?" the blond asked

"Last report I had of her said that she keeps getting drunk to stop some _Voices_, I guess she refers to her conscience about NOT helping you" The Snake said chuckling madly

"I will know once I talk to her, should the need arise, some suggestions in case I am forced to bring her back by force?"

"She tends to get enraged when someone say that her bust is faked with surgery, even if she starts using her full strength, and she is Really strong, she also stop focusing on tactics in order to just blitz the offender"

"Are her tits really fake?" Naruto asked curiously

"If I have to listen what Jiraiya said the only time he grabbed them, they are real, at least that is what I could discern from the triple layered, full-body cast he was in" Orochimaru answered offhandedly.

"May as well grab them myself, it's not like a physical blow is gonna work on me, Thank you Orochi-kun! I will give you your eyes once I'm done, I'm sure we can work pretty well together KAA-HAHAHAHAHAR!" Naruto said laughing madly and leaving the prison.

"Who could have known...I may have found someone able to understand my genius, he is really ready to give me a Sharingan for my help...may as well stay here and see what happens" Orochimaru thought cackling evilly.

"Kabuto! I got good news! We needs to celebrate! BEND OVER!" commanded the ecstatic Sannin.

"NOOO! Please Orochimaru-sama! I still can't sit down properly" Whined the Anime-crying Kabuto as the Snake's shadow towered over him.

**Konoha – outside the prison -**

"Are you sure that you can trust Orochimaru?" Hiruzen asked once the Boy came out of the building

"He wants the Sharingan and I'll give him that, don't worry, I already know what to do should he try something, and those Sharingan ass-kissers won't be a problem either since I have one of those too that I will transmit to my heirs as well as an Ice bloodline, should be enough to keep them in line" Naruto answered.

"Did he said anything else?" Sarutobi asked

"Other than few information on Tsunade and the Identity of his spy inside Akatsuki nothing of interest, the only thing worth attention is something more for my personal gain, noting to concern yourself with" the blond said

"I'll trust you, go get ready, Jiraiya said that Tsunade is in Tanzaku so you two will be better hurry up" Said Sarutobi

"Old Pervert won't come with me, she hates everything about Konoha, Me, Haku and Moegi will be more than enough, Jiraiya will help you and Danzo protect the village and keep an eye on the Uchiha, I have projects for him" Naruto said walking towards his home, Hiruzen following him

"I would prefer having Jiraiya coming with you, but like that you'll have the surprise factor on your side, just don't demolish the city...again" Hiruzen said smirking

"It happened only twice! And the second time the bandits decided to stay the Hell away from the place, so I say it was worth it!" Naruto said crossing his arms.

"Whatever, just pay attention and TRY to convince her to come willingly, forcing her won't be enough" Hiruzen said.

"FINE! You are making this boring, you know?" Naruto said walking away.

"Maybe for you, but since you unlocked those powers I am having lots of fun...right Kakashi?" Hiruzen said to a shadow in the market district

"Did I really have to wear this, Hokage-sama?" The shadow said in a defeated voice

"That's are my orders, but cheer up! A month will pass rapidly, so come out and be happy that I didn't kicked you out of the shinobi career" Hiruzen said smiling walking back to the tower

"As you wish, Hokage-sama" groaned Kakashi, his pink fairy costume waving in the wind while he was using his chakra to make his pretty, butterfly-like _wings_ move

"This damned wig it's Itchy!" Kakashi thought while scratching his new, long mane of blond hair, his plastic crown shining in the sun, the text "_Queen of the Fairy_ _Land_" written with equally sparkling yellow letters was on his back.

He was following his Hokage trying to ignore the snickering of both civilians and Shinobi as well as the multitude of jabs at his masculinity, several female ANBU taking picture of this moment.

**Namikaze Estate – training ground - **

"Yo brat! Already back from the prison? I thought you were going to stay there longer" Zabuza said grinning from under his mask.

"As if a pitiful prison could hold me, where are the girls? We have a mission" The blond answered grinning back

"They are in the back training, but remember, I may have chose to be your bodyguard, but if something happen to Haku you will pay, Painfully" Zabuza said glaring at the boy

"I'll keep that in mind, HEY Tenten! Haku! Anko! Come here, we have a mission!" Naruto said calling the women out.

"What kind of mission?" Haku asked reaching the boy with the others

"We have to retrieve Tsunade Senju and have her to come here to act as Hokage" Naruto answered while sealing his _Heiki_ outfit in a scroll, Moegi was already on his back giggling happily

"YAY! Mission with Naru-chan! Moegi is sooo happy!" the little girl said nuzzling his cheek

"TSUNADE-SAMA!? Can I come too?" Tenten asked pleadingly

"You'll have to ask Gai..." Naruto didn't even finished his answer that a cloud of dust had already left the compound, barely five seconds and few high pitched screams later another cloud of smoke signalled Tenten's return, with her a heavily bruised Gai that was apparently dragged by his ankle by the excited girl.

"Gai-senseicanIpleasegowithNaru-kuntoretrieveTsunade-sama?" Tenten said at a speed that even Naruto had problems following

"W-What?" the man asked while still being held by his ankle

"I think...I think she asked if she can come with us on our mission to retrieve Tsunade-sama to have her as new Hokage" Haku answered

"Uh!? I was planning to take few missions...but since your youthfulness is glowing in such a glorious way, I think you can go...but please pay Youthful attention while out there!" Gai said trying to stay _In character_, but the flux of blood in his head due to his position making it slightly difficult.

"Thankyou!Thankyou!Thankyou!Thankyou!Thankyou!Thankyou!Thankyou!" Tenten said crashing him into an hug, turning him blue from lack of oxygen

"Okay! Enough pleasantries and such! Get ready we are all going, Anko too, I won't leave you here alone" Naruto said before Anko hugged him, his head resting in her ample chest

"Are you worrying about me? That's so sweet coming from an Human Weapon!" she said smirking

"Even if I would love to just spend the whole day with my head between this two babes, we still have a mission, so please get ready since leaving you here with those powers may be dangerous...for the others" Naruto said in a muffled voice, before playfully biting one of her nipples thorough her dress, making her jump in surprise.

"Meanie!" she moaned while going to pack her things

"THAT WAS UN-YOUTHFUL!" Gai said finally back to his boisterous, youthful voice

"Just because you are still a virgin it doesn't mean that I can't get laid" Naruto said grinning at Gai blushing face

"Please don't tell anyone that my Youthful innocence is still there" Gai said whimpering

"I can't make promises, and just for your knowledge, I bit her nipple just because you are here, otherwise I would have just obtained a quickie with the three of them before departing" Naruto said watching the women arrive, ready for the mission

"Your un-youthfulness is terrible Naruto-kun, but still a part of me can't help but hate your luck with the other sex" Gai said

"Nh? You said something?" Naruto asked while getting a quick kiss on his lips from each girl

"DAMN YOUR HIP ATTITUDE AND YOUR SEXUALLY PROVOCATIVE CHARM!" Gai said walking away with them.

"Before we depart...Moegi, would you kindly?" Naruto asked at the girl on his back

"HAI!..."she said taking in an huge breath, the others getting ready to sprint

"HUGE-EYEBROWS GAI IS STILL A VIRGIIIIIN!" Moegi yelled at the top of her lungs and using her powers to move the air so that her _message_ could be heard all-over the village.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Gai yelled in desperation as the Fruit-user Team sprinted out of the village, place that was now trembling due to the laughs of his inhabitants.

After all, Naruto said that HE would have kept the secret, he didn't said anything about Moegi.

**Tanzaku Gai – Main Plaza - **

"So, here we are, the problem is how to find our target" Anko said watching around

"Tsunade is interested mostly in two things, gambling and drinking, I think we should use this to have her to come out" Naruto said

"And how do you plan to do it Naru-kun?" Tenten asked

"Like this" he said clearing his throat

"_Oooh! My wallet it's so full of money ready to be spent in gambling, really a lot of money! If only I wasn't such a poor drinker, ready to fall unconscious for hours at the second glass...especially when drinking with busty women_" Naruto said out loud in faked concern

"Naruto! What are you thinking? You seriously believe that Tsunade-sama would fall for such a poor trick?" Tenten said enraged, only to face-fault once the REALLY busty Tsunade Senju appeared out of thin air near Naruto, hugging his shoulders with her arm and crashing the boy's face on one of her tits while grinning deviously, behind her her apprentice Shizune and her pet pig Tonton.

"My-My, what a coincidence to find a fellow gambler here! What about a little drink before hitting the Casino? My treat!" Tsunade said laughing.

"You are Tsunade? Really? Are you kidding me? Come on old hag! I can understand that you have few debts, that you love gambling and that you spend the majority of your time drinking...but just an idiot would fall for this!" Naruto said enraged

**Tanzaku gai – shadows of the main plaza - **

"This means that he didn't has a wallet full of money?" a shark-like man asked

"For the third time Kisame, no! He never had that money nor he is a poor drinker!" a shorter man wearing the same black cloak said in a voice barely tinted in anger, his face emotionless

"Are you sure Itachi? He sounded so convicted" Kisame asked at his companion who let out a real Un-Uchiha-like groan escape his lips.

**Back to the Big-Tittied Senju and the Zaraki-ripoff**

"You sure are a brave saying such things gaki, do you know that I can simply turn you into a red smear on this floor using just a finger?" Tsunade said glaring at the boy

"As if! I bet the only thing you could achieve was making your tits becoming like that, because its obvious that they are fake" Naruto said smiling madly at the several tick marks on her forehead, her Killer Intent just helping him getting more excited at the prospect of fighting

"Fake?...FAKE!? Those two are real! You are simply too young to really understand! Do you know just how many men begged me to sleep with them just thanks to those! A lot of people don't even know how to describe my face just because their gaze never went over my breast! THEY ARE NATURAL!" the Senju woman yelled stomping angrily, cracks appearing on a wide radius around her.

"Natural? We'll see, my mission is to bring you back to take the mantle as Hokage, but I know that it's almost impossible to convince you, so hear this: let's fight! If you win I'll let you go and help Sarutobi to find another successor, but if I win you'll come with me and accept that position" Naruto said

"NEVER! The title as Hokage it's just a death trap! Why should I go back to a place that took away the man I loved and my little brother? You may even win against me for all I care, but the only way for me to go to that village will be as a corpse sealed in a scroll of yours!" Tsunade said fiercely

"We have a problem then, I don't really care about you so I won't overdo myself just to bring you back and Jiraiya won't take that position either, he is too much a man of action to actually manage to stay still on a seat for a long time" Naruto said nodding to himself

"So? Are you leaving or what?" Tsunade said glaring at the boy

"Tsunade-sama, please! The kunoichi of Konoha needs a strong example to show everyone that we aren't just fan-girls!" Tenten pleaded

"Sorry little girl, but if those idiots back in Konoha can't help those brats to snap out of their personal fairy-tale dreams then I won't waste my time either" Tsunade said walking away

"But...But, I always seen you as an heroine! An Icon of female strength! You can't just leave things like they are now" Tenten tried saying

"As I already told you, I tried to change things, but those people kept laughing at me...in the end I even lose my family due to them not listening to me, I won't come back, find another heroine to worship, I have a life that I wish to keep out of that village grasp" Tsunade said in an angry tone

"I..I...L-let's go back, it-it was a failure" Tenten said whimpering, her face a mask of pain and betrayal.

"Hey...old hag" Naruto said coldly

"Don't you call me..." Tsunade said turning before jumping away with Shizune under her arm in order to dodge a storm of little lightnings that demolished a great deal of buildings on their paths.

"**Goro-Goro No: ****Yubi arashi**** (Finger-storm)**" Naruto said pointing at the two women, his finger still smoking from the recent attack

"ARE YOU CRAZY? You could have killed us!" Tsunade said angrily before jumping away as a ball of concentrated lightning came down on her, creating an huge crater upon exploding.

"**Goro-Goro No: Cannon!** I don't care what reasons you have to hate that village as I too will just love to erase its very existence from the face of this world after what those bastards who live there had done to me, but it's just thanks to VERY few people that I didn't just blow that place up! And you just made one of those people fall into despair, so here is what will happen now: First option, you say you are sorry and go away. Second option, you say you are sorry and then come with us and take the position as Hokage or Third option, you say you are sorry and then die like a FUCKING ANIMAL! **Goro-Goro No: RAIJIN!**" Naruto said yelling out his attack and trusting his hand forward, an huge stream of lighting was launched towards Tsunade, pulverizing a still under-construction part of the village, turning it into a barren wasteland.

"What are you?" Tsunade asked with wide eyes

"It's time for me to show off! YOU TWO IN THE SHADOWS! JOIN US OR I'LL BLOW YOU UP TO PIECES!" Naruto yelled as Itach and Kisame came out of their hiding spots

"Interesting abilities you have, but you will still come with us Kiuuby Jinchuriki" Itachi said in a cold tone, Sharingan flaring to life.

"Yeah brat! Come with us! We just want to extract your demon! It won't hurt a bit, you will just die" Kisame said showing a toothy grin

"The Fox? Are you...Naruto?" Tsunade asked to the boy who started cackling before blowing into a mad laughter

"KAAHAHAHAHAHAR! So what? What were you expecting? A smiling goofball screaming _believe it!_ Over and over? Oh no baby! I'm not that kind of guy...I'm an human weapon!" Naruto said grinning and positioning his skull mask over his face, turning his body into light to fit into his _Heiki_ outfit. (light-speed, remember? He changed really fast ^ ^)

"You...you are Heiki?" Kisame said in wide eyes

"Surprised? What, do you want an autograph?" Heiki said laughing again

"Maybe later, right now we need your Biju so you'll come with us!" Kisame said pointing the boy with **Samehada**

"Really? Then come on fishy, come and get me!" Haiki said grinning

"Insolent brat!" Kisame said running towards him and hitting the boy with his sword, Kisame's grin turning into a frown as a sizzling sound was heard coming from the sword.

"What?" he said jumping away, where the sword had touched Naruto the blue scales had changed into a grey colour before falling down, the sword somehow whimpering in pain.

"**Samehada**, a living sword that feed on chakra, unfortunately her being somehow _alive_ makes it susceptible to poisons, and the one I used usually _eat_ thorough steel in seconds, you are lucky that the whole thing didn't fell to pieces, but it will take a while for that toothpick to recover!" said Heiki

"Damn you!" Kisame said attacking again, but an enraged Tenten with her arms turned in scythes forced him on the defensive

"YOU WON'T TOUCH HIM!" The girl yelled in a flurry of attacks, Kisame hard pressed to fight back since every time he was about to hit her he was forced to dodge a ranged attack from Haku that kept sending shock-waves towards the fish-man

"DIE!" Kisame said finally hitting Tenten and cleaving her body in two, but to his surprise the girl simply re-compacted from liquid metal.

"WHAT!?" he asked surprised

"My powers don't need chakra to work!" Tenten said grinning and turning her left arm into a cannon before rushing to Kisame.

While the blue man was fighting the two girls, Itachi was defending himself from Naruto and Moegi's assault

"**Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu! (Great Fireball Technique)****" **Itachi yelled launching an huge Fireball towards the blond

"Oh my! I'm going to die, BUU-HUU!...Moegi send it back please" Heiki said in a bored tone

"Hai Narut-chan!" Moegi said taking off her gloves and _Grabbing_ the fireball before pushing it back

"What?" Itachi gasped out as he was dodging his own attack

"Nice eh? Moegi-chan can push whatever she want, the girl has eyes only for the blond" Anko explained to Tsunade

"Incredible" The Senju woman could only say at the moment.

"Come on! Don't tell me this is the maximum level the Mighty Itachi can reach! How the hell did you managed to slain your clan?" Heiki said spitting several light orbs towards Itachi, forcing him to act several **Kawarimi** in rapid succession.

"It ends now, **Tsukoyomi**!" Itachi said appearing in front of the blond, Sharingan turned into his Mangekyou stage.

"That's a cool trick and all, a pity that it's easy to break free if you have one as well" heiki said punching Itachi

"You have a Sharingan?" The men asked

"Your mother's one to be precise, apparently she had reached the Mangekyou stage too, but I don't think she had actually killed her best friend, she was too much gentle to do something like that" Heiki said showing his implanted eye, a red, six-petal flower with four tomoes in the middle on a black background.

"Mother? You have my mother's eye in you?" Itachi said growling

"I had this mostly because I highly respected that woman, so I chose to have part of her living thorough me, and secondarily because like this I am protected by you Uchiha ass-holes, I bet it's not nice to be unable to win easily thanks to some Hax, am I right?" Heiki said taunting

"At least show some respect for the previous holder of that eye, **Amaterasu!**" Itachi yelled summoning the black flames of his Sharingan, but to his surprise a second wave of black fire crashed against it.

"I respect this eye, my dear Itachi, that's why I trained in fully using it, I have to say that **Amaterasu** and **Susanoo** are cool techniques, sure I still have to master the latter, but by now I am at a good level...I can't wait to see what peculiar power this one has! KAA-HAHAHAHAHAR!" Heiki said covering his body in a thick, purple goo

"**Doku-Doku no: Kitsune!**" The blond boy said launching a mass of venom shaped like a fox head

"**Katon: Endan!**" Itachi yelled spitting an huge stream of fire, his choice of attack revealed to be really bad as the venom Fox exploded right on his face, launching him back

"I discovered how to overcome my venom's weakness against fire, I only need to use a special kind of venom for it, once it decays it turns into a special gas, if it comes in contact with fire it will explode in a pretty big flare, beautiful isn't it?" Heiki said grinning

"This isn't the end" Itachi muttered

"It is instead...**Doku-Doku No: Sleeping touch**" The masked blond said covering Itachi's mouth with his hand, forcing a bluish liquid to enter his body.

"H-How?" Muttered the half asleep missing-nin

"I can move at the speed of light Itachi-kun...even your precious Doujutsu can't follow me like that" Naruto whispered as the Uchiha finally fell down, unconscious

"ITACHI! DAMN YOU BRAT, I'LL KILL YOU!" Kisame said charging at the boy

"Moegi please, send him away...I'm tired of his face" Naruto said calmly while changing back in a grey and white ANBU attire, the mask hanging at his side.

"Hai!" Moegi said moving in front of Kisame

"Are you afraid of me? Do you think that a little girl will save you?" Kisame said laughing, still charging at Naruto

"Hey ...If you were to go on a trip...where would you like to go?" Moegi asked innocently, making Kisame stop at the sudden question

"What are you saying?" he asked glaring at the girl

"Come on! Tell me where you wish to go!" She asked again whining

"Who cares! We are fighting here brat...FINE! I wish to visit the island of Rakuen (Rakuen means paradise) if you really want to know!" he said angrily

"OKAY! Thank You, Enjoy the island then!" Moegi said happily reaching for him

"Enjoy what?" Kisame asked, but once the girl's hand reached his torso, the shark-like man disappeared in a _Pop!_ Sound, leaving behind the sword **Samehada** he dropped in surprise.

"Moegi...where did you send him?" Naruto asked

"To Rakuen island of course!" The girl answered merrily wearing back her gloves

"And where exactly do you think that island is?" He asked back

"Naru-chan...isn't Rakuen that island with the huge insects?" Moegi asked

"That's Kyōshi Island, you baka!...that ability you have is useful only if you are Good in geography! You need to study more!" Naruto said angrily, before grinning at the surprise Kisame was going to get

"Okay" Moegi said pouting, she hated being forced to study geography.

**Kyōshi Island ( Kyōshi is a term I made from = Kyo**dai m**ushi that means **_**Giant Bug)**_

"Where the hell am I?" Kisame said once he landed, a Paw-shaped crater where he impacted

"That's...sand? I'm on a beach! Can it be that the girl was saying the truth? YEAH! FINALLY SOME VACATION!" Kisame said happily taking away his Akatsuki robe and laying face-down on the sand.

As he was finally relaxing something poked his back, slowly trailing down

"Oooh! This must be one of those famous massages I always heard talking about" he cooed letting _The massage_ continue until it started scratching strongly

"HEY! Pay attention you..." Kisame yelled getting up and finding himself face-to-face with a six feet tall Mantis drooling hungrily at him

"W-W-What?" Stammered a really green Kisame.

Turning on to watch his back he could see an eight foot tall Scarab glaring at him while snapping its mouth

"KYYYYAAAAA!" letting out an high pitched, girly scream the blue Nuke-nin decided to enact retreat since his trusty **Samehada** was nowhere to be found, behind the man an huge variety of over-sized insects ready to eat him.

**Back to Tanzaku**

"Spoils of war!" Tenten said merrily sealing **Samehada** in a scroll

"Eh! I helped too, I want a trophy too" whined Haku

"Next time okay?" The Bun-Haired girl answered

"Good job guys! A Missing-nin sent Kami knows where and one ready to be bought back! For how long will he sleep?" Anko asked

"Until I give him the antidote" Naruto answered hosting both Moegi and Itachi on his back

"That's good for me, let's go back to Konoha, we may have failed our mission, but taking back another sharingan will make up for that" the Snake woman said walking away

"WAIT!" Tsunade said frantically grabbing Naruto's shoulder

"What do you want? We won't take you back so you can stop act so pathetically" Naruto said shoving her hand away

"I-I'll come with you" she said tentatively

"I beg you pardon? I think I mis-heard...you said you will come back? Why? Did your old age screw up your brain? We don't need you so please stop wasting our time" the blond said keeping walking until Tsunade's hands grabbed both his shoulders

"I wish to make up for my absence" she whispered before jumping away as a lighting coated fist came crashing down, creating a sizable crater on the ground

"Make up for your absence? What are you expecting from me? To hug you crying saying that I am happy? Please go fuck yourself, I didn't need you back there and I won't need you now, it's too late for a family reunion!" Naruto said coldly

"That's it? No second chance? No possibility to redeem myself?" she asked angrily grabbing him by the shirt

"And then what? Seriously, like this I can simply poison you to death, shove a light-made fist through your stomach or electrocute you to death and if not me Moegi can teleport you into the core of a Volcano and Haku can turn your whole body into a red spot with a earthquake, do you really expect me to fear your wrath? Admit it, both you and the pervert simply shat on my family and I won't stay here waiting for you to clean your mistakes!" Naruto said pushing the woman away, a pained expression on her face.

"Please..." said Shizune

"FINE! Just because they pay me for taking missions...as I said to Jiraiya I'll respect your talent and your title as Sannin and Hokage, nothing more and nothing less" Naruto said walking away

"Wait, why are you touching your belly? Are you hurt?" Tsunade asked

"No...when I start manipulating poisons I end up with diarrhea, I can't find a way to stop it and the Fox said that from where he is sealed he can't do anything other than delay it due to the seal itself" Naruto answered groaning

"Wait a minute" Tsunade said running a chakra coated hand on his stomach, checking on him

"It's not impossible, I should be able to create a medicine to help you, using it in tandem with the Kyuubi power should be able to stop it" Tsunade said in a maternal voice

"Thank you...I guess, but this won't change anything" The boy said guiding the group back into the village.

"For now, but I'm sure I'll have the occasion to win your trust, my dear Godson, I thought that with your lineage you would have been a spoiled brat and most of all a living memory of everything I lost, but I see that the village tried to hurt you as it did with me, I drowned myself in self-pity too much, it's time for me to protect my family" Tsunade thought smiling at the boy's back

"Tsunade-sama" Tenten said walking beside her

"Ah! Yeah...I'm sorry for what I said" she said watching the girl

"Thank you, It means that I can still consider you my example?" the girl asked

"I'll be honored, we had a lot of fan-girls too when I was a gennin, but I'll try to solve this problem once I'll take the mantle" the blond woman said smiling

"Thank you!" Tenten said hugging her

"By the way, are those two real?" Naruto said pointing at Tsunade's breast

"Of course they are! I had.._EEEEP!_" Tsunade said angrily before letting out a little scream once Naruto's hand grabbed one of them

"Yeah...they are indeed real, sorry for doubting it" he said calmly

"HENTAI!" Tsunade said punching him, to her horror his head exploded

"AAAAAH!" she screamed in fear, but his body didn't feel down instead it simply kept walking

"Stop screaming, physical attacks don't work on me, sorry for kneeling you by the way, I'm not an open pervert, but direct contact was the only way to see if those were real" Naruto said as his head reformed from light particles.

"Stop scaring me like that!" Tsunade said angrily

"As you wish" the boy answered

"Can I run few test on your body once we reach Konoha? I'll like to see how your powers works, consider it a way for me to excuse you for touching me" Tsunade said

"If it will make you happy, but no written documents and everything will be a secret between you and me, not even your assistant can know what you discover, this is not negotiable" Naruto said watching the woman nod in acceptance.

**Konoha – Council room – sometime later - **

"...And so I accept my duty as Hokage to protect this village and its inhabitants" Tsunade said ending her initiation speech

"Thank you Tsunade-sama, now there are few changes that we wished to dispute" Homura, an advisor of Hiruzen said

"Talking about changes...Homura, you and your pal are not needed anymore, I think Sarutobi-sensei and Danzo Shimura will be more qualified to act as my advisors" Tsunade said grinning

"What!?" bot man and woman asked

"We approve this motion" Inoichi said followed by the entirety of the shinobi part of the council

"You can't do this! We of the civilian council won't approve of this!" screamed a midget from the other side of the room

"Those two showed themselves ready to act behind my back several times in the past as Danzo can testify since more than once he was the one they asked help to" Hisuzen said lighting his pipe

"That's true, I had to accept few things in exchange of their _Help_ in taking away from the hospital people for my ROOT program, oblivious that those two were also responsible of the bad Image my program had, but I may have _casually_ got my hands on few papers showing that they were slowly siphoning money from the found used for the restoration of the most ancient part of the village" Danzo said smirking while giving to the other elders a copy of said papers.

"Seeing as this proofs are indeed true, we elders approve the request of one Tsunade Senju, the old advisors will be held responsible and their belongings frozen until we will be able to understand _How much_ of their wealth came from their stealing" an old woman said as the two were escorted out.

"If this is all then I say that this meeting is over" Tsunade said watching Clan heads and Councilor leaving the room

"I have to say that you may be a good Leader after all" Naruto said sitting near Hiruzen

"Than you, this means that you are MY weapon now?" the woman asked

"Unfortunately not Tsunade, Naru-chan here signed his fidelity to ME personally, meaning that I still can give him missions" Sarutobi said smiling

"You know this may be considered treason, sensei?" Tsunade said smirking

"Danzo has his ROOT soldiers, I have Heiki-san, they are a policy in case something goes wrong with the village, by the way, I wish to ask to be the secondary instructor of Konohamaru's Team, I'll help Ebisu when they are not in mission, is it possible _Hokage-sama_?" Hiruzen said smiling deviously at her new title.

"Tell me the truth, why did you chose to search for a successor? And don't say because you are old, I know that's not the case" she asked

"I was tired of staying in that office all day, I was getting rusty with all that time passed putting a stamp on papers" Hiruzen answered getting up to leave the room, Naruto following behind him

"Figures...can I count on the blond boy for few missions?" She asked

"That can be arranged, don't worry, you can trust me Tsunade" Sarutobi said making both him and _Weapon_ disappear with a shunshin.

"Will he ever forgive me?" Tsunade asked sadly

"Naruto-san had an hard life, even as Hokage you can't simply pretend that he will love you as family in an instant, be patient and work your way back into his heart, it will take a lot of time, but knowing him I can say that deep inside he really want to forgive what is left of his family, I'm sure of it" Danzo said smiling, the clacking noise of his walking cane filling the room

"I hope so, can I count on you and Sensei to help me and the pervert in that too?" Tsunade asked

"Me and the old fool by now are the only people he trust, I can't promise anything, but we can always try to _speed up_ the process, now I'm sorry but I have a _Full-body_ massage with my name on it and those two girls will catch a cold if I let them spend too much time in that skimpy bikini" Danzo said smirking

"Old pervert" Tsunade muttered

"I'm over 70 years old, Tsunade, to have _That_ part of my body to work again it will probably took a forbidden technique or worse, at least let me have this little pleasures or I may as well kill myself" Danzo said disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"Still, you are an old pervert and I will personally castrate you and sensei if my Godson ends up like you" a flustered Tsunade muttered.

**Namikaze compound – hidden basement - **

"Someone is talking about me" Naruto said watching inside the cell in front of him

"Don't worry about it, surely it won't be anything dangerous, for you at least" Hiruzen said glaring at the prisoner

"How long before my execution?" Itachi said from the wall he was chained to, several seals covering his body, the one on his forehead shining briefly as he tried to activate his Sharingan

"You won't be executed Itachi, you followed my orders in eliminating the clan members planning the coup against Konoha, but I wish to know why killing THE WHOLE clan" Hiruzen answered

"I was killing the targets, but my Father had a similar Idea about the one against his will, he was the one to kill Mother, he was about to kill Sasuke too so I stopped him, but I guess that my little brother now held me responsible for the whole thing, isn't he?" Itachi answered

"Exactly, your idiot of a brother is spoiled to the core, that's why I took you here, after I'll take care of him I want you to take the position as clan Head of the Uchiha clan and create it again, hopefully with an head on their shoulder" Naruto answered grinning

"You plan on killing him?" Itachi asked

"No, he will be more usefull in what Naruto-kun here told me, but we'll need your help, so? Did you accept?" Hiruzen asked

"The Akatsuki won't like my and Kisame's disappearance" Itachi said

"_We already took care of that_" said a voice as a strange being came out of the wall, he was encased in a fly trap-like appendage while his body was half white and half black.

"ZETSU!" Itachi yelled in surprise

"_**No need to shit your pants pretty boy**_" the black half said in a deep tone

"_The Leader think that you are dead and won't discover the truth anytime soon_" the white half explained

"You are with them?" the Uchiha asked

"_The old_ Madara_ may have been the one to create us, but the new one is a crybaby prick always sobbing over his dead crush_" White Zetsu said

"_**Yeah, he pretty much goes Emo after every meeting, I'm fucking tired of his whining**_" Black Zetsu said spitting on the ground in disgust.

"So you will be our spy in their ranks?" Hiruzen asked

"_Orochimaru said so, so we will help you, but in exchange we want a place here after everything is over_" White Zetsu said

"That can be arranged" Sarutobi answered

"What about the other thing I asked you two?" Naruto said

"_**The piece you want is still in perfect condition, the others are as well, just be cautious when you'll face the other members of the Organization**_" Black Zetsu said grinning

"Perfect! I can't wait KAA-HAHAHAHAHAR!" Naruto said laughing

"Are you hiding something from me, my dear Weapon?" Hiruzen asked smiling

"It's a surprise Jiji! You won't regret it" the blond answered

"So Itachi? Since Zetsu here will cover you, did you will accept our request?" Hiruzen asked

"...My Clan died because of his Greed, my brother chose the path of revenge instead of going on with his life...I won't permit to my lineage to fall into the oblivion like this, you have my loyalty once again Hokage-sama" Itachi said watching them fiercely.

"Good! For now we'll keep you here just to be sure, I'll ask Tsunade to see if your eyes can be cured by the initial stage of blindness you are having from the Sharingan if not...we'll take precautions" Hiruzen said nodding

"I understand, I hope to earn back your trust in the due time" Itachi said bowing his head

"_Before we go as well, Kabuto asked for something_" White Zetsu said with his body half disappeared inside the floor

"What is it?" Hiruzen asked

"_**Vaseline, lots and lots of Vaseline, the more the better**_" Black Zetsu said laughing disappearing completely

"Poor guy, maybe we should move him into another cell" A green faced Sarutobi said

"He was acting as a spy, he needs to be punished, then again, I don't want to hear Orochimaru, an adult man, sobbing like a baby because we took away his plush-toy" Naruto answered walking away

"You are evil" Hiruzen said shaking his head

"And I'm proud of it!" Naruto said laughing again.

**Omake – Physical Exam** -

**Konoha Hospital – Examination Room - **

Sitting on the examination table stood the blond weapon, Tsunade was running several exams on his body and blood.

"So? Are you happy now?" Naruto asked grinning, he was just in his boxers and he was shamelessly ogling her from head to toe.

"We are not finished...and please stop trying to fuck me with your eyes, it's unnerving" Tsunade said angrily watching the results of her exams.

"Not happening, you have an huge pair of twins and if I am going to spend my time here at least I'll have a nice view" the boy said grinning

"They turned you into a pervert, I should pummel those two old goats into nothingness" said Tsunade

"I'm not a pervert, I simply enjoy the act of Sex" Naruto said walking towards the woman that was giving him her back

"It still means that you are a pervert" Tsunade said without turning

"When was the last time you got laid?" Naruto said hugging her from behind

"Not of your concern...and please move away your leg" Tsunade said scoffing

"It's not my leg, sweetie" he answered hugging her tightly

"Ah! interesting..." she trailed off blushing in realization.

**Konoha Hospital – corridor - **

"Tsunade-hime should have finished checking the gaki by now..." Jiraiya said approaching the door and finding it closed by a seal

"Sealed? Umpf lucky boy is sealed inside a room with that pair of tits, but he is a fool if he thinks to even have the slightly possibility to touch them without repercussions, then again, what is he in comparison to me THE GREAT Jiraiya!" the old man said striking a Kabuki pose.

"But still...I can't help but worry..." he said forcing the seal enough to hear what was happening.

"Come on! Just a quickie, I don't see where is the problem here" came the voice of Tsunade

"For the last time NO! I already have three women breathing on my neck, I won't hear the end of it if I fuck another woman" was answering the blond boy

"I'm your Hokage, remember? If I order you to strip naked and fuck my ass you MUST obey!" she said angrily

"This doesn't mean that I have to cheat on them! Ask Jiraiya to do that if you need to get laid!" Naruto said angrily.

"Good job my boy!" was thinking a certain toad sage

"As if! I saw him back when we were young! A _pencil_ that's what he has!" Tsunade answered in anger, oblivious that her old team-mate was crying in shame at her words.

"Then that's your problem, not mine" Naruto said getting dressed

"An A-class mission payment, my help with your training and I'll took all the blame with your three mates! This is my last offer" Tsunade said

"...Have your assistant Shizune to join us in a threesome and the freedom to ask you a tit-job whenever I feel the need of that and we have an accord" Naruto said in a serious tone

"Fine by me, but why Shizune too?" Tsunade asked

"I can't manage to have a threesome with either Anko, Haku or Tenten without them arguing about who goes first" The Boy answered

"Fine, come to my office, we'll have more privacy there" Tsunade said undoing the seals

**Konoha – bar - **

"Whyy? Hime...why did you have to betray meeeee..." The heavily drunken Jiraiya slurred out, a mountain of empty bottles near him.

His mind would not stop filling itself with images of the two laying on the woman office's floor going at it like rabbits, forcing the old sage to emptying another bottle in sadness.

**End of the Omake**

**And as well end of the chapter ^^, ****I need suggestions: what kind of power should Mikoto's Saringan have? tell your favourite in the reviews, I'll chose the best one, thank you ^^**  


** Sorry the wait by the way, but I have few problems that are taking away most of my time, leaving me with Less and Less possibility for writing, by the way, I'll soon finish "The many who were one" after publishing this, having a lot of stories open tend to take away my focus, but a project I am working on with Soarath and another I am doing myself will be publish soon, get ready ^ ^.**

**As always, review and Favorite/follow if you like the story.**

**IF EVER, If you did have few suggestions or wish to see a determinate **_**Something**_** happen just tell me, the Idea I'll found the bet may as well be published (with your name on it of course ^^) **

**BYE BYE! **

**Tremor230**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4 is now on-line! As always around the 4th-5th chapter I end up with the time skip, this time won't be different, and I MAY have decided a slightly EVIIIIL punishment for Sasuke, but since I am the little bastard you all seem to love ( XD ) I don't care if he suffer, I have always preferred Itachi at him by the way.**

**If you have not noticed yet, HERE Orochimaru doesn't need to change body every Three or more years, he just do that to not "Get Old", I hope you will understand.**

**Ah! I am adding Moegi to the pairing, it will be effective AFTER the Three years, she will be considered legal by that time, I say it right now because I don't remember if you people wanted her or not...not that it mattered since _I_ want her in the pairing too, so...to your face **

**^ ^ (I'm joking, I like you guys, you are a bunch of funny readers) **

**Pairing : Naru/Ten/femHaku/Anko/ Moegi**

**Settings: Dark!Naruto - Good!Danzo – Powerful!Naruto – Bashing here and there – Few OOC moments if I need them...and maybe few Pervy!Konoha moments. **

**Mikoto's Sharingan: Susanoo, Amaterasu, Tsukoyomi and the original power of...**

**Energy manipulation!**** Meaning that it can absorb, re-direct and convert the chakra in any attack/Illusion it is used on, an example? A Suiton: Teppodama (water bullet) can be either:**

**Absorbed - adding its chakra to the sharingan user reserves (works on genjutsu)**

**Redirect it – creating a mirror-like defense that reflect the attack back to the enemy (works on genjutsu)**

**Convert It – the same mirror absorb the attack and can (by adding an extra amount of energy matching the power of the initial attack) reflect it back with its element changed, meaning that a Teppodama (Water bullet) will be converted in a wind/fire/earth etc. version of it and reflected back to the enemy. (Doesn't work on genjutsu)**

**The name of the technique? Yawata** since it is a DEFENSIVE technique

(From a wiki: Hachiman Also known as Hachiman-shin or Yawata no Kami, he is the god of war and the divine protector of Japan and its people. Originally an agricultural deity, he later became the guardian of the Minamoto clan. His symbolic animal and messenger is the dove)

**Fruits used:**

**Naruto:**

**Doku Doku no mi : venom venom fruit (Last User-Magellan)**

**Pika Pika no mi : light light fruit (L.U-Kizaru)**

**Goro Goro no mi : Rumble rumble fruit (L.U-Enel)**

**Others:**

**Buki-buki no mi: arms-arms fruit ( L.U baby 5) given to ****Tenten**** with the variation of being**

**Buki-Buki no mi, model ****Ekitai kinzoku**** ( model liquid metal)**

**Gura Gura no mi : tremor tremor fruit (L.U-whitebeard) given to ****Haku**

**Hebi Hebi no mi model cobra : given to ****Anko**

**Nikyu Nikyu no Mi: Paw-paw fruit (L.U Kuma Bartholomew) given to ****Moegi****.**

" **You bastard"** - demon talking / jutsu

"Let's finish this" - dialogue

" _Can it get any worse? _" - during flashback

" Not so easy after all " - thoughts

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, One Piece or whatever I use or I will use**

**Chapter 4: Finally Sasuke becomes useful!**

**Konoha – Massage SPA "Heavenly Hands of the Goddess" - VIP Area - **

"Asuma-sensei? Are you sure that Heiki-sama will be here?" Ino Yamanaka asked while waiting with her Team and Sensei in front of a desk

"Yes Ino, my father and Danzo wish the prized weapon of Konoha to be happy...and had you seen the destruction he can unleash you will want that too" Asuma said smirking at the innumerable, scantly dressed beauty that were walking around

"This place is already rich, but the VIP area is almost Kage-level for prices, the guy must be packed or Konoha will be drained just for this" Choji said as a brunette finally reached them

"Actually, Heiki-sama always paid _personally_ for our services, Sarutobi-sama just pretend from us the maximum level of professionalism and secrecy about his identity" The woman said seizing the group from her squared glasses

"We wish to contact him, can we talk to him?" Asuma asked

"By now he is in the room 23, please follow me" the woman said walking away with Asuma's team behind her.

"What kind of service has he asked for?" Ino asked

"Our policy is really strict about our costumers, we can't tell their personal choices" The woman answered signalling them to stop.

"Please wait here, I'll announce you" she said entering with a bow

"We'll finally see his face without the mask" Shikamaru said curiously

"Remember what my old man said to us, we can ask for his help, but his identity MUST remain a secret, it means NO TALKING or GOSSIPING!" Asuma said putting emphasis on the two terms and glaring at Ino

"Okay-Okay! I'll keep my mouth shut!" the blond girl said rising her hands

"Heiki-sama said that you can enter, but that he won't interrupt what he is doing since he payed a lot for the extra, so please keep what you see for yourself" the woman said gesturing them to enter.

"Thank you miss" Asuma said watching the woman walk away

"Okay, let's enter" the Smoking Jounin said opening the door.

Inside they could see a dimly lighted room with purple candles burning on the floor, resting on the luxurious bed in the middle of the room stood a masked man with blond hair being "Massaged" by three women wearing a pink lacy bikini and with a pink mask with _Pleasure_ written on it covering their faces, those women were using their ample, luscious assets to smother him with essential oils letting out a subtle giggle whenever one of his arms was pressed between their oiled chest valley.

One of them was openly moaning while she was pressing herself against his broad torso, massaging his eight-pack with her breast while the third one moved to entrap the back of his neck between her _twins, _massaging his shoulders at the same time.

"So? What do you want? You are stopping me from enjoying my free time" Heiki said in an annoyed tone, waking them up from their shock

"P-P-Pervert!" Ino screeched, a pair of katana swords appearing and pointing at her neck thanks to a couple of ROOT appearing from the shadows

"Heiki-sama is relaxing, please keep your voice at a bearable level" one of the blank masks said whispering.

"Sorry!" Ino said whispering moving her arms up

"Asuma-san, before your student start yelling again, I PAYED a lot of money for this, I didn't forced them, so? What do you want?" Heiki asked glaring at them

"We have a mission in the land of Rock, Tōgakure village's leader asked our help for an undefined mission, since he said that he would have given us the details once there..." Asuma said

"You asked old man Sarutobi to _borrow_ my services since you don't trust a man from a village that is in constant commotion due to several factions fighting for the right of ruling the territory, am I right?" Heiki said

"Right to the smallest detail, Heiki-sama, can we count on you then?" the Jounin asked

"The scroll?" the blond man asked

"Here" Choji said giving him the mission details that one of the women opened in front of Heiki's eyes to make him read

"...Not bad, seems interesting...okay, I'll help you" Heiki said getting up, his body covered only by his boxers and shining under the candles due to the oil.

Ino blushed quiet heavily watching him

"Stop ogling me, girl, an erection is normal in this case...N.13, Please go call my cat, she will accompany me" Heiki said to one of the ROOT

"As you wish, Heiki-sama" the masked man answered disappearing with a shunsin

"Your cat?" Shikamaru asked

"Nothing of your concern, main gate in twenty minutes, pack whatever you need for this mission, I'll reach you after I had a shower and packed as well" Heiki said moving on the back room

"Okay Team, you heard the _Weapon_, you have twenty minutes" Asuma said guiding them out

"Troublesome, maybe I know who Heiki is...and it will be best if we don't comment on it" Shikamaru said shaking his head

"You think?" Chouji said

"Absolutely" the Nara boy answered

"You two are just scared" Ino said

"You should be more than us, Ino, don't comment and don't judge, he WON'T like it" Shikamaru said

"If you say so..." Ino answered in an half hearted tone.

**Konoha – Main gate – Twenty minutes later -**

"So? Where the Hell is he?" Ino asked angrily

"Calm down, Ino, if we want to cooperate we need trust each other" Asuma said grabbing her shoulder

"Exactly, keep your tongue under control and everything will be fine!" Naruto said reaching the group, wearing a grey ANBU uniform with his black eye-patch now sporting a red sharingan-like marking on it, Moegi following humming happily, her tail moving around lazily.

"Naruto-baka? What the hell are you doing here?" Ino asked, a ball of condensed poison landing at her feet, forcing her to jump back as it melted the terrain before being re-absorbed by the boy

"Control your temper, Ino, I won't put the mission in danger because you decided to act bitchy" Naruto said glaring at her.

"Mission? Y-Y-You are..." the girl stuttered

"Naru-chan identity is a secret! Nya!" Moegi said glaring at her as well

"Sorry...I didn't wanted" the girl said looking down

"Please behave, Naruto I wish to thank you again for helping us, are you ready?" Asuma asked

"Me and Moegi are ready, let's go before I get old" Naruto said starting walking with Moegi jumping on his back

"YAY! Moegi and Naru-chan going on mission! We'll kick their asses, Nya!" the little girl said giggling happily

"Isn't she too little to follow us?" Chouji asked

"Moegi was the one to destroy the physical body of that Biju while Naruto-san was personally battling it, if ever, if we are not careful WE may be the ones ending up being of hindrance" Asuma explained making the boys go wide-eyed.

"MOVE YOUR ASSES!" Came Naruto's scream making the others sprint to catch up with him

**Some time later – Border of the land of Rock – Tōgakure no Sato (Village hidden in the Towers)**

The village was fairly little inside its walls, but what made it famous were the six high towers guarding the village and connected by a large enough wall to have six people walk side-by-side on it, from the wall several guards could be seen moving back and forth while from the top of the towers Teams of archers were silently observing th surrounding area with their piercing eyes, their bows always at ready with an arrow already in their hands.

"Such big walls, they are not an important village, but still they are fortified at a ridiculous level" Naruto commented watching the walls and _feeling_ the guards eyes focusing on him and Asuma's team.

"It's because we are near the capital, the only village more defended than this it's Iwa itself, by the way, we are pretty close to them, aren't you afraid? Your father used to have a lot of enemies, especially here" Asuma said watching the boy turn his perennial smirk into a mad laugh

"KAA-HAHAHAHAR! So what? Onoki already tried, where do you think I took this uniform? Its previous owner was one of the Tsukikage prized ANBU, I personally butchered seven squads of them before they FINALLY understood that I can be even WORSE than my father, remember, his **Hiraishin** jutsu may have been the reason for his _Yellow Flash_ surname, but I can turn myself into a living mass of Lighting or move at the speed of light, the Yondaime in his prime was not even remotely fast as I am now, and differently from him, I have no problems massacring my enemies, after all, if they attack me I have all the rights to retaliate" Naruto said in glee

"You are terrible" Ino muttered

"I won't stay hidden in the shadows just because a village can't accept its loses, THEY WERE AT WAR! What do they expected? That their enemies would have just left them do as they please? Onoki needed a wake-up call, he can't expect me to lay down and die just to appease his village, now we have a _no-aggression pact_ between the two of us, no truce and no hate, they finally understood that I am NOT my father" Naruto said

"You have a no-aggression pact with a whole village? No Konoha, but just you?" Choji asked

"Does it disturbs you?" the blond boy asked glaring at him

"No! Not at all!" the Akimiji rapidly answered

"Good, let's enter the village then!" Asuma said pushing the three kids of his team forward, Naruto following with Moegi still glued to his back

**Tō Village – main plaza - **

"Not bad, seems like a good place" Naruto said looking around

The street was full of people entering the shops, calmly walking with their hands full of bags or just enjoying the day in one of the locals

"Moegi feels observed, she don't like being observed, nya!" Moegi muttered clutching strongly to the boy's back

"Observed?" Ino asked

"Their shinobi's are watching us while hidden, they are doing it since we entered the village" Shikamaru explained

"Get ready to fight if the need arise, but try to not show it" Asuma said lighting a new cigarette and discreetly scanning the area

"Moegi, jump down and take off a glove, just in case" Naruto said

"Hai, as you wish, Naru-chan" Moegi said doing as ordered and moving at his side.

"Stop! State your name and business here in the village" a man wearing a jounin vest said as he and other four shinobi appeared in front of the Konoha team, their Hitai-ate showing the image of a tower in it.

"We are here under the request of your village leader, he has a mission for us" Asuma answered showing a copy of the mission scroll

"And the other two? A team is usually formed by three members plus an Instructor, unless they are Jounin level" the same man, the captain of the little group, said glaring at Naruto and Moegi

"I am an..._additional pair of eyes_ we can say, the girl is my apprentice" Naruto answered smirking evilly

"A brat with an apprentice? Konoha sure must be desperate to do this" another shinobi said making his group start laughing

"I won't laugh if I was you...Moegi! Move him outside the village" the Blond ordered

"HAI! Everything you wish, Naru-chan, nya!" Moegi said walking towards the man

"Do you want to hit me? Come on then! Give me your best shot!" the man said smirking

"OKAY!" the little girl said giggling and moving her hand towards the man and _touching_ him

_Pop!_ With a subtle sound the man disappeared, only to re-appear screaming while he was falling from the sky, landing face-first just out of the village gate

"As you can see, my apprentice is pretty good at making people disappear, now try to imagine what _I_ can do to you all!" Naruto said with his crazed smile

"Impressive! Please follow me, and forgive my men, sometimes titles and abilities tends to cloud the judgement making people talk when they shouldn't" the captain of the Tō group said escorting Naruto and the others to the central tower where the Village's Leader was waiting for them.

"She used an interesting technique, can I know its name?" the Captain asked

"Sorry, clan secret, we can't divulge the name either" Naruto said

"It's a pity, I liked it" the man answered saddened

**Tō Village – Village's Leader Office -**

The small tower looked like a small reproduction of the Kage tower of Konoha with half the floors, the office of the village's leader was on the top floor, the room was equipped with a little desk and two simple-looking chairs, the with walls almost blinding due to the light coming from the window, two red-dressed guards outside the door glaring at whoever came close to the office.

"So you are the Team Konoha sent us? With all due respect, I was expecting something more..._Threatening,_ if you know what I mean" the leader said

"Kazoshi-san, please remember that the greatest weapon of a shinobi is in fact _deception_, just because it looks weak and defenceless it doesn't mean it can't kill, poisonous plants and insects are a good proof of this" Asuma said trying to cover with his voice Naruto's snort

"If you say so...the reason I asked for help it's because the situation here has now reached an unbearable level, the other factions are starting to get dangerous for the well being of the village, I must stop this non-sense before it's too late" Kazoshi said standing up and walking towards the window.

"And this brings us to the mission itself, what do you want?" Naruto asked

"Show some respect, brat!" One of the guards said in anger

"And you shut your mouth or I'll make you taste enough electricity to light this city for a month" the boy answered with a death glare

"**Raiton jutsus** don't scare me, boy" the man said in pride

"Trust me, you should stop now, Naruto here can do way worst than just a raiton jutsu" Asuma said watching the two

"Stop bickering! Your mission is to assassinate the other two groups leaders, my men will dismantle the rest of the factions once the heads are dead" Kazoshi said

"Something tells me that it won't be easy, otherwise you would have done that yourself" Shikamaru said

"Exactly, Tokoro and Shiniki are good fighters protected by high level soldiers, between them there are even few ANBU shinobi that were kicked out of the ranks because too _animated_ in their actions, preferring open battles to subtle tactics, I may have the same level of strength at my disposal, but being equally matched makes things difficult, making the need of outside help necessary for obtaining the upper hand, if we fight for ourselves, the result will be our mutual weakening, leaving the one sustaining the lesser amount of _Damages_ able to take control of the village" the old Leader explained

"Bah! Whatever, just point me in the direction of the biggest fight and I'll be the happiest boy around! KAA-HAHAHAHAR!" Naruto said before laughing madly, Moegi laughing with him from his back.

"Crazy brat" muttered one of the guards

"This is a file with the objectives' photo and base location, since our factions are at war since the village birth, by now we know practically everything about each other" Kazoshi said giving two scrolls to Asuma

"This will make things easier, thank you Kazoshi-san" Asuma said as his Team and Naruto left the office.

**To Village – Tea Room**

"So? What do you think about this mission?" Asuma asked as he, Team 10 and Naruto were sitting in an isolated table of the local.

"That it's boring...like, really boring...any more boring and I would have been sent to guard a brat during a race before fighting against an enemy strong only because using an over-powered weapon" Naruto said in rage.

In Rice Country Team 7 along with a boy taking part to a marathon named Idate sneezed, a missing-nin hidden not far away doing the same.

"That is exceptionally detailed" Shikamaru commented

"I know my boredom, any suggestions about how we should act? Because I can just go to those address and simply blast them into oblivion" the blond said crossing his arms and leaning more on his seat, his eyes closed in annoyance.

"I would like a more _Subtle_ approach if possible" Asuma said with a sweat-drop

"Then help me, because I am out of ideas" the boy answered lifting his hands

"Can we infiltrate their bases? What if we are helping the wrong side?" Ino asked

"She is right, sensei! What if by helping Kazoshi-san we condemn the whole village to tyranny?" Choji said as well

"We are helping the _Red Oni_ to kill the _Green _and _Blue Oni, _Good and Bad are not exactly clearly separated here" Shikamaru said

"_Blue Oni?_" Ino asked

"The name of the factions...our client is the Leader of the _Red Oni_ faction, the three of them were once a single group of merchants that reached this place, rising it from a little village of tents into what you see today, but along the way they started disputing about choosing the village Leader, ending up with their separation into three fractions" Asuma explained

"Boring...Let's go Moegi, I want to see how well defended the other two are, then I'll decide how to act" Naruto said getting up, the little girl trotting behind him, latching to his arm

"We need to work together, Naruto, remember that you are here only as support" Asuma said glaring at him

"And you remember that I am not the _dead Last_ you all thought I was, those three will keep moving wars to each other until someone put a definitive stop to their bickering, I want to find a fourth option" Naruto said leaning on the table and moving his face at an inch from Asuma's nose

"A fourth option?" the Jounin said without moving his eyes from Naruto's one

"If _A, B _and _C_ are fucked-up, momentarily solution then I'll find the _D_ one...accept it, if we help the _Red Oni_ soon the Green or Blue one will call us for the same mission, the Leaf may like taking money for this, but this village can't be continuously drained of their money, a new leader must be found" Naruto said glaring harder, making Asuma sweat a little

"I didn't know you were an hero...my old man said that you considered yourself a living weapon" Asuma said smirking

"And I am...I'll just kill the cancer tainting this village, convincing the three factions that fighting between themselves is useless, and I will do this by butchering, beheading and burning down whoever stands in my way, if in the end they will consider me an hero...then it's just their problem, I am just here to do what I am the best at...and what I do is not nice" Naruto said moving away, Moegi obediently following him

"What are we gonna do, sensei?" Shikamaru asked

"We'll make few research ourselves, he may be a killing machine, but he is also right, Konoha may have good money from this kind of missions, but this place is a focal point near both the Capital and the border, if the wrong man manage to take control of this place then it would be a problem" Asuma answered

"Then why this mission was labelled _C-rank?_" Choji asked

"It's a _B-rank_ really, the client payed the right sum, but asked this level of secrecy since sending here a Jounin team would have raised too much attention from the Capital, the plan was to send us and an ANBU team secretly following, but since four adults would have been too much, Tsunade-sama sent someone else"

"_The Living Weapon of Konoha_" Shikamaru said

"Yes, he may look like a Gennin, but you saw during the exam what he did, the battle against the Biju was attributed to _Heiki, _but what no-one in Konoha knows is that Naruto and Heiki are the same person, that's why he was choose for this, he is perfect for this work since no-one will expect _a kid_ to be that lethal" Asuma said distractingly moving a finger in the burning marks Naruto's hands left on the table during his discussion with the boy.

"So we will just stay here and wait for him to complete the mission?" Ino asked

"No, we will look around, let's find this _Fourth Option_, something tells me that Tsunade-sama and my father secretly ordered him to do exactly this" The smoking Jounin said as he and his Team exited the local

"It's logical, finding a new Leader, one that won't be changed continuously due to the three factions fighting, would result in an alliance between Tou and Konoha since one of our shinobi would be the one to give them a _True_ Leader" Shikamaru said

"Exactly...or at least I hope that this will be the end result of our staying here" Asuma said

**Tou – red-light district - **

Asuma and his team were walking near the more..._Adult_ section of the village when a mop of blond hair they knew very well walked out of a brothel

"Pervert! Aren't you into a relationship already?" Ino screeched, but stopped once Moegi's gloves went removed

"Moegi don't like when a girl yell to her Naru-chan, NYA!" Moegi said angrily her tail and ears up and hissing

"You brat! Just because that monster protects you it doesn't mean..." Ino started saying, but the huge, poison-made head of the Kyuubi towering over her blocked her words in her throat

"What did you say?" Naruto asked simply

"Now please calm down!" Asuma said looking around, luckily it was fairly late and the road was empty

"Mom said you are a monster" Ino admitted

"Not that...I don't care if your mother thinks I am a beast, but Moegi is not a _Brat_, she has more power in her pinky that you and that whore will ever have, show some respect to your betters" the blond said snarling at her

"HOW DARE YOU! Just because you are the Yondaime's son you can't insult people!" Ino said in anger, the fox head was launched towards her as answer

"NOO!" Asuma yelled moving to shield the girl, his eyes closed and waiting his death.

That never came, actually

"W-What?" he said trying to open his eyes, getting deadly pale at what he was seeing

Both he and his team were entrapped in domes of purple goo, enough room for them to not being hit and a tiny hole for air to enter.

"I'll say this only once" the blond boy said calmly, getting the others attention

"Do you know that I openly said that I will destroy Konoha?" Naruto said making them watch him in surprise

"The only reason I didn't do that it's not because the blond idiot that fucked my mother the night I was conceived cared about you all, because that place holds no place in my heart" Naruto said

"Then...why?" Shikamaru asked, his dome shrinking slightly

"I never said you could talk...If Konoha is still standing it's because I will take from it everything that was taken away from me, not only that, but you should also kiss where my women walks because THEY are what is keeping me from obliterating that huge mistake that is YOUR village, the day those babes decide to leave I will destroy the village before going away" the boy said glaring at them

"IT'S NOT OUR FAULT!" Choji yelled, his dome didn't moved

"Please explain, I like when people start piling a bullshit over another in fear" Naruto said smirking evilly

"The old generation is blind, old bastards rooted in their old beliefs! My father always told me that your mother was the previous container of the Kyuubi, but that he never saw her as a monster, one day my uncle found out her status as Jinchuuriki and tried to kill her...my father stopped him and called the ANBU, when asked why he answered_ a monster is one who kills in cold blood for no reason, she had never hurt you_" Choji answered

"So?" Naruto asked

"Let...let the old ones go...they will soon rot and die, the new generation and the ones with a functional brain won't hate you if we explain, HELL you never did bad things to no-one, few pranks but anything more than some paint and smelling bombs here and there...a monster would go around killing innocents, not using itching powder! Please! Give Konoha a possibility" the Akimichi pleaded

"Why should I, seriously, give me a reason" Naruto said getting closer to him

"You won't be better than them if you destroy the village" Shikamaru tried saying

"How do you know that I _Don't Want_ to act like they think I will? It would be ironic to die by my hands, like a self-fulfilling prophecy" Naruto said grinning evilly

"You are smart...smarter than people think...give the good people a chance, I won't ask you to not act revenge, just to let the ones worth saving alive" Shikamaru said

"The new minds can be polluted by the old ones...just look at your _Teammate_ "Mommy told me you are evil, so you must be a monster" it's not the _monster_ itself that is insulting, but the fact that it only took this little to have you people change view of someone" Naruto said walking towards Ino

"Say something! Come on! Tell me that the mighty Uchiha will save you! Tell me that I am a monster that should burn in Hell! Tell me that I am the son of a whore that never wanted me! COME ON! It's not that difficult, after all, THAT'S WHAT YOU ALL KEPT TELLING ME WHILE I GREW UP!" He said grabbing her neck

"S-S-Sorry" she muttered crying

"Pathetic...now that your life is in my hands you act humble...miserable coward, by the way, stop thinking about telling your mother about this, if they throw me in a cell I can liquefy the bars with my lightning, poison to death the guards, blast an hole in the wall with my sharingan and then kill every guard under two seconds by moving at the speed of light, seal won't work on me because the moment I turn into Light or Lightning they will stop working, my powers don't need chakra...even Tsubade and Sarutobi would be helpless against me" Naruto explained

"Ino...were you really thinking about condemning him?" Choji asked

"Sure she was...she is a clan Heiress! Untouchable...to me you are just a spoiled brat, I'll let you people go, but just because I want to finish this mission as soon as possible, I don't want to stay with you more than necessary" the blond said calling back the poison, discreetly taking one of the pills Tsunade gave him for the venom fruit down-side

"Why Tsunade-sama and Sarutobi-sama won't stop you?" Ino asked with a raspy voice

"As I said, I can turn into Light and Lightning, physical contact won't work on me and since I am still human even in that form they can't seal me anywhere" Naruto answered

"And Genjutsu?" Choji asked

"Those works by attacking the brain, if the brain is a mass of energy they won't work, especially if he turns into Lightning, his mind would just go too _fast_ to actually be affected, and as he said he has a Sharingan implanted too, that will be an extra defense against them" Shikamaru said getting a nod from the blond boy

"Did they really said that to you?" Ino asked

"Why you care?" the boy said

"It's just...it's hard to go against what your parents taught you since you were little" the girl said

"Then try and use your brain, you can be pretty smart when you want, just try to use your head to think, not your mother's, be something more than just a pretty face, please" Naruto said annoyed

"...Thank you for the compliment" Ino said smiling

"It wasn't intentional" Naruto said making her smile drop

"So? Forgetting this little...incident? What were you doing inside that brothel?" Asuma asked

"Making questions" Naruto answered

"Questions?" Choji said

"...It's the basics...No?...FINE! I'll explain to you" Naruto said watching the group dumbfounded expression, Asuma included

"Brothel and bars are two of the best places to find information, a drunken man or a sexually satisfied man tend to let their mouths go without restraints, in this case, _That one_ Brothel is one of the more frequented of the village so the Lady owning it has on her customers list few men from the Red, Green and Blue Oni group, her _workers_ may not go boasting about knowing secrets as it may cost their lives, but they don't forget either, a little money and I had her and few girls telling me whatever they know...and the few massages I gave them helped too" Naruto said showing the scroll where he wrote everything he was told

"Massages?" Ino said HIGHLY interested

"It turns out I have _magic hands_ for massages, my Luck transferred even there, it's an useful ability when living with a lot of women" he said calmly

"So? What did you find out?" Asuma asked

"Check yourself" Naruto said giving the scroll to him

"Interesting...maybe we found the fourth option" Asuma said while reading

"What do you mean, sensei?" Shikamaru asked

"The daughter of our client seem interested in the son of the leader of the Blue Oni, if the two youngster becomes the new Leaders of their respective groups they will be able to unify the Blue and Red Oni into one" Asuma said

"Luckily the men working for those two groups did not have personal truces one against the other, just business, it should not be difficult to have those two factions to work together" Naruto explained

"What about the Green Oni?" Choji asked

"Those unfortunately not only are without an heir in love with someone of the other two factions, but are the most ruthless of the three, meaning that we will be forced to _remove_ them completely" Naruto said

"The same goes for our client and the boy's father, they can either renounce to their position or be killed by us" Asuma said closing the scroll

"I'll take care of the Green Oni with Moegi, without you around to get caught in the cross-fire we will be able to go all-out, you try to talk Tokoro and Kazoshi into giving up" Naruto said

"Are you sure? Their base will be full of High-level shinobi" Asuma said

"That's my work, don't worry" Naruto said smirking

"Naruto...I'm sorry" Ino said looking down

"Don't be, I don't know what to do with your being sorry, you should thank Choji since he saved you" Naruto said

"You will give Konoha a second chance?" Asuma asked

"Not because I am a good boy, I want to see IF the new generation can still be saved, but at the first mis-step I'll treat the young ones as I treat the old ones, instant death to who dare challenge me" Naruto said walking away

"We won't delude you" Choji said happily

"You better" the blond boy said, freezing them solid with a death glare

"How many chance do we have that someone will fuck up everything, Shika?" Chouji asked

"Too many, if the others are even barely like Ino, we won't even enter Konoha that someone of our age or younger will start calling him _demon_ or _monster_" Shikamaru said

"Okay...I want a banquet for my funeral by the way" Choji said

"I am not _that_ bad" Ino said, but falling silent as her Sensei and teammates glared at her

"Remember me to have a _violent_ word with your mother, Ino, Konoha is walking on the razor's edge, few bigots won't force me to watch my home being burned into nothing" Asuma said coldly, guiding the kids towards the village Leader's Tower.

**Green Oni HQ – Entrance - **

Music was being played as one of the green-clothed _Oni_ was playing the piano in the room with a goofy grin on his face, here and there group of three or four men were happily singing a song only they know in their drunker happiness, slurring and hiking each one following his own rhythm.

"Come on!" at one of the tables four men were playing cards, the one yelling losing for the second time

"Ah-ah! Now it's your turn! DRINK!" one of the others said laughing

"DRINK! DRINK! DRINK!" the other two chanted while beating their fists on the table as _the loser_ was gurgling down a whole bottle of sake in one go

"BUUAH! I...I'll win th-the n-_BURP!_...the next one...because I love you guys" the fourth man said in an heavy slur as his face become crimson under the alcohol

"Ahahahaha!" the whole table laughed at that as cards were dealt again

"HEY! We are getting short on food here! Who's turn is today?" A voice asked over the chaos

"It's Kaku's turn! It's Kaku's turn!" another green-clothed man said with the blond girl sitting on his lap nodding and giggling

"Noo! I went last week!" the man whined

"Come on, _Square nose!_ It's your turn!" Another one said

"Okay-okay, just stop joking about my nose!" the man said angrily and nearing the door

Upon opening the door two things happened.

One, a punch from a skull-masked man reached his long, barely squared nose squashing it, incredibly turning it into something _normal_

Two, he went flying towards the piano destroying it, making the whole room turn their attention to the uninvited guests.

"H-Heiki!?" one of them said in surprise

"Who else, bitches? No offense for the ladies present, of course" Heiki said nodding towards the women, who intelligently bolted out of the place and ran away

"Heiki-chan? They are the bad boys?" Moegi asked, she was wearing a cat mask leaving her mouth out, her hair turned black and short thanks to a genjutsu on the mask itself.

"Yes, _Kitten_, remember to pay attention, never underestimate your foe" Heiki said using the girl's new codename

"Hai!" she said taking off her gloves

"What do you want, Chibi?" one of them said, he was by far the tallest man Naruto had never seen easily dwarfing the others in the room as his steps echoed heavily as he walked, casting his shadow over the two

"So big...and yet I am ready to bet that _where it counts_ you are pretty poor equipped" Heiki said smirking

"HOW DARE YOU!" the giant said moving to punch him

"**Goro-goro no mi: 50'000 volt VARI!**" Heiki said calmly grabbing the man's fist and immediately releasing his attack in a blinding tower of lightning that nearly turned the man to ashes

"A...ah...ah" the heavily burned form of the giant man muttered before falling on his back

"Now...who is next?" Heiki asked

"**Katon: Fireball projectile!**" Two man yelled at the same time

"Need help, Heiki-chan?" Kitten said taking a ready stance with both hands stretched forward

"No, I want to try my new trick" Heiki said as the fireballs drew closer

"OKAY!" Moegi said pushing back her fireball and incinerating a good part of the room

"Good girl...**Yawata!**" Heiki said, a fine mist moving around the boy before forming a mirror-like defense in front of him, the fireball entering it as ripples started forming near the entering point, the attack coming out reflected towards its initial user.

"What!?" both men yelled before being engulfed by their own attacks

"I like it, nothing better than killing someone with his own attack, come on Kitten! We have a lot of people to destroy" Heiki said in glee as he finally entered the Green Oni HQ.

He CAN kill them while standing on the door frame, but like that it won't be as funny, actually

**With Asuma and Team 10 – Same time - **

"LET HER GO, TOKORO!" Kazoshi yelled to the Blue-dressed man keeping his daughter as hostage

"NEVER! My son will never waste his life with this bitch! MY family founded the village, _I_ am the only one that should guide this place!" Tokoro said nearing even more his kunai to the girl's neck, drawing blood

"Stop this, Father!" Tokoro's son pleaded

"I am saving you, don't you see? It's our family's duty to guide this poor idiots!" The man said with a crazed expression

"What do we do, sensei?" Choji asked

"Shika? Can you use the **shadow possession**?" Asuma muttered

"Yes, sensei" the Nara boy answered

"And you, Ino?" the Instructor asked

"I am ready, sensei" the girl answered

"TOKORO! Let her go and we won't harm you!" Asuma said getting the man's attention

"You Konoha filth will never understand! Your pathetic village is considered strong only because one or two men managed to be barely good ninjas and your having a biju" Tokoro answered glaring at Asuma

"What's wrong? Jealous because the best you can have is this rat-hole while I live in a far better place? Is not my fault if your family wasn't able to create anything better than this pile of crap" Asuma taunted smirking

"DON'T INSULT MY ONHERITANCE!" Tokoro yelled enraged, in that moment the girl acted rapidly, biting his hand and running towards her father

"COME BACK HERE!" the Blue Oni leader said trying to reach her, but his body won't respond to his will

"**Shadow Possession **completed...troublesome, all this mess because he didn't wanted to find an accord to stop a feud going on since forever" Shikamaru said in a bored tone

"Whatever, lazy ass! Let's finish this and return home!" Ino said before using her family jutsu to shut down Tokoro's brain, making him fall unconscious for Chouji to tie up.

"Thank you for saving my daughter, Asuma-san" Kazoshi said hugging his daughter, tears wetting his eyes

"Don't worry, Kazoshi-san, we did what was right" Asuma answered smiling

"I'll take control of the Blue Oni, this _war_ between us went on for long enough, our men are tired of always watch their back for surprise attacks" Jengo, Tokoro's son said nearing the village leader

"Do you really love my daughter?" Kazoshi asked

"With all my heart...please let me see her, I won't stand losing her" the young man said bowing down, his forehead touching the floor

"Rise, Jengo! A true Leader never shows weakness, I won't let my daughter marry a weak" Kazoshi said smiling

"M-Marry?" both boy and girl said

"What a better way to make our alliance stronger?" Kazoshi said smirking

"Thank you, father!" the girl said hugging her father

"The only problem now will be the Green Oni group" Jengo said

"I don't think so, we sent Heiki to them" Asuma said smiling evilly

"Heiki? You mean that the blond boy with you is Konoha's Human weapon?" Kazoshi asked in awe

"Not exactly, he is just really good with the **henge** jutsu" lied Asuma

"Incredible...but! Will he be able to destroy them?" the Red Leader asked

"**GORO-GORO NO: Megami no hidarite! (Left hand of the goddess!) - TORA SHOCK!****"** two familiar voices yelled as the pillar of Lightning and the Bomb of compressed air completely obliterated the Green Oni HQ and an huge chunk of the surrounding constructions.

Even the Leader's office windows exploded from the shock-wave.

"Pretty sure...as he said: _That's his work_" Asura said watching the destruction from the devastated office

"_Sigh!_ Repairing everything will be a pain" Kazoshi sighed in desperation

"Come on, father! I know you can do it" the daughter said reassuringly

"We will go then" Asuma said leaving the office with his team

******On the way back – road towards Konoha - **

"Aah! Nothing better than a good mission to keep your abilities sharp" Naruto said stretching a little

"Moegi had soo much fun with Naru-chan, nya!" Moegi said tree jumping near him

"How many people died in that attack?" Asuma asked

"Uh? I don't know, some of them escaped before me an Moegi demolished the place...maybe half or even just a third...who knows, The Leader is dead as I used a light-made sword to cut him in two, the rest choose flee after that, we just killed to ones stupid enough to attack two peoples able to do what we do, some even threated me saying that they would have used Moegi for their pleasure...they were actually the ones to die in the most painful way" Naruto answered calmly

"May God have mercy of the ones crossing you" Chouji said

"He may show mercy to them, I am not going to do it KAA-HAHAHAR!" the blond boy answered laughing

"And Moegi too will punish them! Shishishishi!" the little girl said laughing as well

_**"Naruto-san!"**_ Black Zetsu said as he came out of a tree

"KYAAAA!" Ino yelled in surprise

"SHUT UP!" Naruto yelled making her stop

"Sorry" she said submissively

**"********The Uchiha brat stole...****__****that thing****" **Black Zetsu said referring to the last fruit

"Shouldn't it be in the Daimyo's palace by now?" Naruto asked

"_For some reason it was sent back, take this radio and come with us, we'll take you and Kitten to him_" White Zetsu said giving to both Weapon and Cat a neck-radio

"Asuma-san, I need to go, this mission is too important!" Naruto said grabbing Zetsu as the plant man was making both him and Moegi sink into the tree they were on

"What's this _thing_ you are referring to?" Asuma asked

"S-class secret only known by me, Sarutobi and the Fire Daimyo, I'm sorry" the Blond said as he finally disappeared inside the tree.

"It's really so serious, sensei?" Shikamaru asked

"Terribly serious, Shika" the smoking sensei said

******Valley of the end – some time later - Forest**

"Okay, I want details, NOW!" Naruto ordered

"_For some reason the Daimyo said that the fruit could have been safe in Konoha too, but once inside the office Homura attacked the guards, stealing the fruit saying that he would have sold it to a village in exchange of his joining in their council_" White Zetsu said

"Idiot! What else?" Naruto pressed

**"****__****The ANBU attacked that traitor killing him, unfortunately the Uchiha brat was walking with his team to the Hokage office for some mission when the corpse of Homura flew out of the room, the little shit heard him muttering about power and the fruit, acting like the hate-blinded idiot he is he took it and ran away****" **Black Zetsu said

"Perfect! A revenge maniac with a fruit holding mysterious powers, what else? An invasion from Iwa?" the blond boy said exasperated

"_There is more! Luckily an ANBU threw a Kunai to him, the boy managed to flee by jumping out of a window, but leaving behind half of the fruit, Sarutobi-san called you because we don't know if he ate that thing already!_" White Zetsu said concluding his story

"Good, I'll caught him, but do not misunderstand! Sharingan or not he betrayed the village and stole a possible weapon of mass destruction, I will kill him" Naruto said getting a smirk from Zetsu

_**"********We were actually hoping to hear that**_" Black Zetsu said

"I'll be on my way then" Naruto said moving towards Sasuke's chakra signature, Moegi already on his back

******Valley of the End – Waterfall - **

Sasuke stood in a clearing watching his reflection on the water, the half of a black apple with a stylized man (known as "stickman") on it in his hand

"This? Giving power? I bet is thanks to a fruit like this if the blond idiot became like what he is...perfect" Sasuke said smiling evilly

"Hello? Ah! Luckily I found someone! Hey listen, I was looking for a little traitor with an over-sized ego and a limp dick, have you seen him? He has a curious hair style resembling a duck's ass" Naruto said arriving in the clearing, Moegi watching from the trees ready to help him

"What do we have here? Someone eager to help me test my new power?" Sasuke said turning to watch him

"Ah Sasuke it's you! Sorry if I didn't recognized you, I should have smelled your uselessness!" Naruto answered grinning

"Once I will eat this you will stop joking!" Sasuke said showing the half fruit to him

"That's difficult...I never stop joking, I think it's a family thing" the blond answered

"**Katon: Goukakyuu no jutsu! (Great Fireball Technique)**" Sasuke said spitting an huge fireball towards Naruto

"You know? I can easily evade that attack or dispel it, but I think that I will just defend myself and humiliate you at the same time...******SUSANOO!****" **Naruto said uncovering the Sharingan and summoning the skeletal form of the jutsu, using its hand to deflect the attack up in the sky where it exploded harmlessly

"What?! You have a Sharingan?" Sasuke asked angrily

"Yes, and I have actually reached the higher level of it, just like Itachi, what? Jealous that a non-Uchiha managed where you always failed?" Naruto taunted

"AAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Sasuke screamed in rage attacking him, the blond simply evading and back-handing him

"I WILL KILL YOU! After your defeat I will tear away that eye and kill my brother with both that and this fruit!" Sasuke said

"Just because I want to add salt to your wounds...this used to be your MOTHER eye" Naruto said smirking evilly

"YOU MONSTEEER!" the Uchiha boy screamed charging him

"Weak, Sasuke, Very weak" Naruto said moving through hand seals

**"********Fuuton: Great Breakthrough****" **Naruto said summoning the blast of wind launching Sasuke far back and in the water

"That's it! I'll show you who is superior!" Sasuke said biting the fruit, shivering at his disgusting taste

"Crap! Maybe I should have took it away" Naruto muttered

"_Naruto! Can you hear me?_"Tsunade's voice said from the radio

"What now, baa-chan? Now is not a good moment, Sasuke has just eat the fruit!" Naruto answered

"_It is instead, Tonton ate the fruit the moment Sasuke jumped the window_" Tsunade said

"So?" he asked

"_...She started talking and walking upright! She gained human traits!_" Tsunade said excited

"WHAT!?" Naruto yelled

"_Hello Naru-kun! Kick that emo's ass!_" an unknown voice said

"Is that?" he asked

"_Tonton! My little princes can talk now!_" Tsunade said happily

"What about Sasuke then?" Naruto asked aloud

"Simple! I just gained the traits of every animal of this world!" Sasuke said laughing madly

"What?..KAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAR! That's rich!" Naruto said blowing in laughter

"Why do you laugh? Does the fact that you are now inferior to me drove you to madness?" Sasuke said smugly

"You don't even know how those works, don't you? A fruit can give ONE ability to whoever eat it, but I wonder what happen when someone try to _steal_ the fruit" Naruto said grinning

"This mean that I gained human traits? But I am already human! And what do you mean with stealing?" Sasuke said

"Tonton actually ate the fruit before you, gaining its powers, but you managed to _steal_ it and tried to gain the same abilities...since no-one can eat more than ONE fruit, I guess that an hidden_ power_ should be in place to punish who try to do what you have just done" Naruto mused

"But-but...you can use Lightning, Light and poisons! Does a fruit gave you those three powers?" the Uchiha boy asked

"No...I just swallowed three fruits...I am a special case, that's why I am still alive" Naruto said grinning

"IT'S UNFAIR!" Sasuke said trying to use the **Chidori** on him, incredibly, not only did Naruto's body absorbed the attack, but Sasuke's hand also broke upon hitting the blond

"Using Lightning against me? Are you stupid?...by the way, apparently your punishment for greedily craving power was the fruit weakening you so much that your bones are now like glass...and to answer you, your eyes can copy everything, cast unbreakable genjutsu, tear an hole in space and time, summon inextinguishable flames, summon a demon made of energy and even cheat death and a lot more...you are not exactly the one that should talk about what is fair, you are pretty overpowered, my dear ass-hole" Naruto said shaking his head and kicking the boy, making him fly back near the water before pinning him down with a foot on the Uchiha boy's stomach.

"Let's see how water affects you" Naruto said with a sick smile drenching his hand and using it to touch Sasuke's cheek

"GYAAAAAAAH!" with a tremendous scream of pain Sasuke started trashing around, a burn mark in the shape of Naruto's hand appearing on his face

"COOL! The water became like acid to you! You better find a new way to get clean or you will just melt under the shower! KAA-HAHAHAHAHAR!" Naruto said laughing

"B-bastard! I'll have my revenge!" Sasuke said glaring at him

"Again with this avenger thing? How boring, Sasuke-kun, you sound like a broken record" Naruto chirped wetting his hand again and letting few drops fall on the boy, making him scream in pain

"Now...what to do with you? Uhm!" Naruto said keeping dropping water on him

"STOP! PLEASE STOP! I BEG YOU!" Sasuke pleaded with watering eyes

"Shut up, I am thinking!" Naruto said

"Naru-chan? Weren't you talking about a special project regarding the Teme's clan?" Moegi said nearing the two, her tail around her waist like a belt

"What an idiot! I had almost forgot! Thank you Moegi, my dear! We'll get some ice-cram once we return, you deserved that!" Naruto said smiling happily

"YAY! Ice-cream with Naru-chan! Moegi is so happy, nya!" she said jumping around

"W-W-What are you talking about?" Sasuke asked

"We decided that keeping you happy was a waste of time and resources, so after this you will be used as breeding stock to repopulate the Uchiha clan...after all, we can't wait for you to decide and fuck a woman, right?" Naruto said grinning at his disgusted face

"WHAT!? One of my clan can't be used for that! That is something to use the women of the inferior clans, like that they will be finally useful for something!" Sasuke said in anger

"You have no choice, Teme! By the way, your eyes will be used to pay the services of a man that really helped me in gaining all the information I required for a special _something_ I am preparing" Naruto said in glee

"WHAT!? No-one can take my eyes! Only an Uchiha can effectively use them!" the boy said

"Apparently not so much, Kakashi and me have pretty much surpassed you by now...Ah! I almost forgot again, geez I need some rest, I keep forgetting the important stuff" The blond boy said playfully smacking his forehead

"What are you forgetting?" Sasuke asked in a low growl

"Itachi will be the Uchiha clan Head, he was re-installed in the Village and his crimes pardoned" Naruto answered smiling wide as Sasuke's eyes went wide

"**NOOOOOOO!**" with a madness-filled scream Sasuke started trying to get up, but a kick courtesy of Naruto stopped him

"SSSSH! Your yelling is fucking annoying!" Naruto said glaring at him

"I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL KILL ITACHI! I'LL KILL EVERY WHORE THAT SWEARED TO LOVE YOU!" the mad boy said trying to pry the foot away

"You are insulting my women? Bad move, Motherfucker, bad move" Naruto said moving an hand upward with the palm open, a sphere of lightning coming out from it

"I was going to make this gentle, but you had to piss me off! God, if I am going to enjoy this!" Naruto said with a wicked smile

"**Goro-goro no mi: cutting lightning!**" grabbing the sphere and moving his hand in a slash motion, Naruto launched a blade of lightning, cutting away the arms and the legs of the Uchiha boy, the flesh burning and cauterizing the wounds

"AAAAAAAH!" Sasuke screamed in pain before a needle was planted in his throat, silencing him

"Good thing Haku taught me about the body's pressure point or I would have been forced to hear this bastard scream the whole way back" Naruto said, elated that the silence finally returned to the valley

"Naru-chan? He fainted from the shock" Moegi said pointing at the limb-less Uchiha

"Even better! At least it will be easier to take him back, let's go Moegi!" Naruto said as the little girl jumped on his back, Sasuke instead was unceremoniously dragged back, paying attention to drag his body where the most jagged rocks were.

**Konoha – Kage Tower – Council Room – some time later - **

"So you dragged him back after cutting away his arms and legs to use him as a breeding stock?" Hiashi asked

"In a nutshell? Yes" Naruto said

"I would have preferred you using a more _human_ way to take him back" Itachi said

Not everyone was happy to see him back, but after Sarutobi showed them the truth about the Uchiha Massacre there was little they could do in answer

"He threatened my life, yours and the lives of the ones I care about, and you know what that would have earned to the village" Naruto said

"So for some reason he is extremely weak and the water acts like acid on him? that fruit was really cursed, maybe that's the reason the Daimyo didn't wanted that thing in his palace" Hiashi said

Naruto and Sarutobi lied to the council about the fruit power, they couldn't let the blond's enemies knowing about his weakness to water, not that it wa a problem thanks to the fox being immune to that and able to control Naruto's body until he was safe.

"Yeah...I have to admit that Asuma was also very _persuasive_ in convincing my wife to stop hating the boy when explaining WHY doing that is a bad idea" Inoichi said in a deadpan

"How did he convinced her?" Chouza Akimiji asked

"I don't know, after giving her a black eye he asked me to leave the room...the screams were pretty intense, but after that my wife's idea about the boy did a 180" Inoichi explained

"Asuma-san sure is convincing, aren't you mad?" Shibi Aburame said nodding

"Not too much, since he then explained _How much_ and _How long_ may take to Naruto to actually take and demolish the village...no, I think he did the right thing" Inoichi admitted

"The situation is really so bad?" Chouza asked

"Believe me...you will be better don't knowing" the Yamanaka clan head answered

"Well, since we have both a clan-head and a breeding stock, I think that we can safely say that the Uchiha clan is officially under reconstruction" Tsunade said grinning in satisfaction.

"What about Team 7?" A civilian councilor asked

"Sai will return in my ROOT forces, Sakura already asked to join the breeding program in exchange of her leaving the shinobi ranks" Danzo answered

"And Kakashi-san?" another councilor asked

"He will still take missions, this year Teams are already provided of Jounin sensei, so we will wait next year and he will be given the possibility of guiding another genin Team" Sarutobi answered

"What Happened to Sasuke-san eyes?" Hiashi asked

"One of them has been already implanted on a secret subject" Tsunade answered

**Konoha – Prison – Orochimaru and Kabuto's cell - **

"Good job, Kabuto-kun, keep licking! Do you like your _Ice-cream_? Ufufufufufu!" Orochimaru said laughing evilly

**Konoha - Council room - **

"Are you sure it will be safe, Tsunade-sama?" Hiashi asked

"Following Naruto's suggestion, we implanted an obedience seal on that man during the operation, it's a subtle one that will gradually change the subject making him loyal to us, if he ever finds out, it will be too late" the Senju woman answered

"And the other eye?" Chouza asked

"That is simple as I think you will soon know who received it" Tsunade said smiling deviously

**Konoha – Kurenai's Home - **

"Asuma? Why did you are in front of my door?" Kurenai asked

"Listen, Kurenai...we have been together for two years already...and...I..." Asuma trailed off

"Oh my! Isn't he?" Anko muttered watching the scene from Kurenai's couch

"A-Asuma?" Kurenai said blushing

"I...I..." Asuma said getting on one knee

"Oh my God!" Anko muttered with wide eyes

"Will you...will you marry me?" Asuma said unsealing a ring and a jar with an activated Sharingan eye

"It's...it's a Sharingan eye!" Kurenai said in awe

"Kurenai Yuuhi...will you become my wife?" Asuma asked again

"OH GOD YES! YES I'LL MARRY YOU!" Kurenai said hugging him and fiercely kissing him

**Konoha – council room -**

"Yes...I am certain that the second eye will be in good hands" Tsunade said still smiling

"If you say so, then I think we can trust your judgement, Hokage-sama" Inoichi said nodding

"Perfect! the council has other questions? No? Then the meeting is officially concluded, you can leave the room now" Tsunade said getting up and signaling to both Naruto and Sarutobi to follow her

**Konoha – Hokage Office - **

"What can I do for you, Tsunade?" Hiruzen asked

"I need to send Naruto with Jiraiya, the Akatsuki is an organization whose goal is to capture the Nine biju and extract them from their vessels, action that result in their death, Itachi was luckily really informed about them so we have a good idea about what we would face" Tsunade answered

"How will this training trip be structured?" Naruto asked

"You will basically travel with Jiraiya around the Elemental Countries while training for two years, the last one will take part in the summoning territory of the Toads, Mount Myouboku" Tsunade said

"Then I refuse" Naruto said

"WHAT!?" Tsunade and Sarutoni yelled in surprise

"With all due respect...it's a stupid idea" Naruto said

"Explain!" the Senju Woman ordered

"Jiraiya is a pervert, going around will give him too many occasions to slack off and go _researching_ leaving me on my own and halving whatever result we may achieve, second point, my affinities are an High Wind one and a minor Fire one, a fire element ninja can be easily found HERE in Konoha, Itachi and the Uchiha vault of jutsu are a prime example" naruto said

"Those are clan jutsu" Sarutobi said

"I don't care?" Naruto said mockingly

"But..." Tsunade said

"Please, let me finish" the Blond boy said

"Go on"

"As I said, I can take learn few jutsu from the Uchiha clan since A- I have a Sharingan now, so in a sense I _am_ an Uchiha and B- if it wasn't for my good heart those two would have been dead, completely _erasing_ the Uchiha clan, making the whole ordeal empty" Naruto said

"A wind element could be found in Danzo, he fought during the Shinobi war and he was one of the possible candidates of the title of Hokage, he as an High wind affinity just like me and several Sharingan eyes so he can help me with those as well, and last time I checked Jiraiya was a good fire element as well" Naruto said

"Another point, Suna is near and our ally again, Temari is a wind mistress, and that title is _Definitely_ not something they give away like nothing...I bet she can pull few strings and help me if we ask, the trip to the summoning realm is a good part indeed so we can keep it" Naruto said

"And the damages the training may do?" Tsunade asked

"The village pays FIVE squads of cleaning specialists that usually slack off and work only when an ANBU is passing by, if the expense of their presence here is necessary then they can work a little more or get the fuck out, your idea of a trip could have been good in case the village could have been in danger, but as Itachi said he and Kisame were the two to actually be engaged to capture me due to **Samehada **chakra-absorbing ability and Itachi's sharingan, Zetsu can just _say_ that I am traveling with Jiraiya while I stay here in secret, since we have their spy network working for us we may as well use it" the blond boy said

"Now that I think about it...we have barely started going through Minato and Kushina's jutsu library...the Fuinjutsu section was not even touched...in there there is a lot of material we could use..." Sarutobi said closing his eyes in thought

"If you put it like that...Me and Shizune can help you with your chakra control using the medic-nin training...but the Fox? You may need to use its chakra" Tsunade said

"Kurama is a male so it's _he _not _it_...and we are in good terms, I know that there is an ANBU that managed to gain the **Mokuton** (Wood release) that was able to calm down a biju, Orochimaru told me, he can help while me and Kurama will train IF something goes wrong, but I am pretty sure in won't, if you are worried we can do that training _Outside_ the village's walls, so the others will have all the time to stop me if I ever go berserk, Moegi will be able to slow me down enough for you to act" Naruto said

"So even the training with the Biju chakra can take place here...Kakashi is without a team so he may be useful and help too...I may as well, Konohamaru will be happy to train with you, since you saved his life you are practically his hero" Sarutobi said smiling

"So it's final? You want to train here? Why?" Tsunade asked

"Yes, I'll train here, because I won't leave my women here...I don't trust Konoha enough" Naruto said

"Why not? Don't you trust us?" Tsunade asked

"I may have confidence in Sarutobi-jiji and Danzo's ability...Hell I MAY try and trust you and Jiraiya too, but you four can't protect my family 24/7...that's MY job" Naruto said

"You won't be always there, you know?" Tsunade said

"Then I'll train them to be strong enough...but I will be there with them"

"We'll help you, don't worry" Sarutobi said moving an hand on his shoulder

"...Let's try like this...BUT! If after three months the results are not satisfactory you WILL do as I planned!" Tsunade said seriously

"Sounds fine to me, if it will make you happy" Naruto said crossing his arms

"I can order some ANBU to patrol your compound, that and the seals Minato used on his house should be enough" Tsunade said

"We already have four squads of ROOT patrol it, but I think that few ANBU too should be good" Hiruzen said

"Let's try this madness" Tsunade said groaning

**Konoha – Namikaze compound – that night - **

It was a stormy night, the rain was falling heavily as thunders were illuminating the streets and their metallic noise was making the windows rattle sightly.

"Naru-chan" Moegi muttered entering his room

"What's wrong?" Naruto said sitting up, Haku sleeping near him (It was her turn)

"Moegi is scared...there are thunders" she said shivering a little

"I can use them freely...how come you are scared?" Naruto asked groaning

"But those are yours, Naru-chan...Moegi know you would never hurt her" she answered

"Come here, little one, your Naru-chan will protect you" Haku said with a maternal smile

"Really?" Moegi asked hopefully

"Haku..." he muttered

"Just for this night, tomorrow we will try to help her snap out of it" Haku said smiling at him

"Please, Naru-chan" the little girl said pleading

"FINE! But just for this night!" Naruto said finally crumbling

"Thank you!" Moegi said jumping on the bed and rapidly getting under the sheets

"Now please let me sleep, my training starts tomorrow at dawn!" he asked exasperated

"Good night, Naru-chan" Moegi said hugging him and snuggling on his chest

"Good night" He said to the both of them

"Moegi wil be good...she will be perfect" muttered the already sleeping girl

"She is so cute" Haku muttered

"I admit you are right" Naruto muttered in response

"...perfect...Moegi will be perfect...as Naru-chan's...wife" she muttered again with an happy smile

"Fuck..." Naruto muttered as he and Haku went wide-eyed

**The end! Yes I did that to Sasuke and No, I don't care if it sounds terrible, for once I wanted to be cruel, like this...to see how it feels**

**See you around!**

**The next update will be "**Two cats and a Fox**" and "**N: the Father of Kumo's consuming clan**" after those I will focus on the new one of "**Sexy Umbra wizard**" and "**Petals of blood and darkness**" and finally the last chapter of "**the many who were one**"**

**I hope you enjoyed and please tell me if you take one of my challenges (especially the Orochimaru one ^ ^)**


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